WomenCo.

I thought it would be beneficial to continue a conversation started in the comments section under a user-submitted article to a full-fledged discussion thread. I have higlighted, below, the main points on either side, and hope we can further debate this here.

First off: The article in question tells the story of a transsexual man who became pregnant after being artificially inseminated by his partner, a biological woman.

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Here's a sampling of opinions by WomenCo. members:

• Interesting. Everyone has the right to have a family, way to go and Congrats!


• On a strictly intellectual level, I can accept this just fine (love makes a family, we shouldn't be defined by our appearance or conventional conceptions of gender, etc. etc.) But somehow this makes me feel very uncomfortable on a gut level.


• I love it!


• When people learn acceptance and tolerance of "the-other" the world will be a much better balanced place...no need to agree or even like; stay ambivalent or in hate if you choose; don't react adverse or rude or violent to "the-other" ---- just learn to adjust to difference; make adaptations to your beliefs and customs and room to embrace all that is human right...period -- ahhhh, right huh? in my dreams...smiles


• I feel that just because you can do something does not mean you should actually do it. There are some shades of grey that should be avoided. There are a lot of things that are legal, but that does not mean that it is ethical.This man and his wife new before they got married that his wife would not be able to conceive a child. The consequences to their actions does not just affect them, it now affects a child. Life is hard enough.


• This just makes me want to hurl on so many levels.


• It hurts me to hear some of your unabashed intolerance. If two people are in love and want to have a child, and have the ability to do so (be it naturally, through a surrogate or through adoption) then why can't they?


• I am totally happy for them. Everyone has the right to a happy family. Aren't you happy for the women who get pregnant via in vitro fertilization? Should she not have those children, simply because it's not natural? So do you also believe surregate mothers are unethical also? I say just be happy for someone who has found true happiness! Congratulations Thomas Beatie!

This pregnancy and birth seemed too weird for me, but stranger things have happened.

Amen-KatS

I'm in favor of two loving people (regardless of sexual preference, nationality, etc.) that would like to provoide a safe loving environment for a child.  It takes hard work, dedication, patience and resolve to keep a family together and raise a child. I commend anyone who is willing to take that step.

We complicate everything. It is unconventional and different and that is going to bother some people but at the end of the day it comes down to two people in love who want a kid. The luckiest child is the one who is loved unconditionally.

I truly hope that this child will have a healthy & positive upbringing. I have to be honest in saying that I don't understand it and there do seem to be some red flags based on what I know of their story. In some ways it seems all for the attention and being done to challenge society. The whole thing confuses and dumbfounds me. However, if I were to know someone like this IRL, I would not belittle or disrespect them in any way. I would be as honest as I'm being now and do what I could to come to a btr understanding of them as ppl and the decisions they've made.

qianab says ...

 Also, One last fundamental that I forgot to mention. A man did NOT have a baby. A woman had a baby. I think we need to remember that. You cannot change your sex even with an operation.

I appreciate your level of thinking on this very controversial subject. Well articulated observations.

First of all, that so called "man" is a woman. I dont care how many drugs she takes be a man she still had her organs to allow her to be pregnant.

I am not judging their decision, what upsets me is how this story is putout their that a "MAN" had a baby. No! A woman had a baby who is now going through the process of wanting to feel and look like a man.

Denise, Thank you so much for your words. They are so important.

Denise said:

 I would like to respond to qiannab.  She says that the woman decided to become a transgender.  I have to correct this because transgenders are born transgendered. It is not a decision.  Being transgendered means that they have a gender idenity problem.  They feel they are trapped in the wrong body.  Being transgendered does not have anything to do with their sexuality.  My child was born transgendered and showed signs of it at age 6.  They have to go through many steps to complete their transition.  It is difficult and expensive.  They have a hard life because few people understand what they experience.  Many people are quick to judge them.   It is nice to see the acceptance on this forum.  They cannot help that they were born this way. 

Hi Denise,

Just wanted to quickly address what I wrote and your response. I know that many transgendered people were simply born trapped in the wrong body. Certainly this can happen. And I cannot imagine how frightened and trapped anyone would feel living like this on a day to day basis. With the female in question, my only question is, if SHE really believes she is a man then why keep her sexual organs that identify her as a woman? And really there is no reason to even put that question out here and start a debate over it. She has the right to do whatever she wants to do.

In my response I wrote that she chose to be transexual. I thought that a transexual was the person who chooses to go through the surgery and hormone therapy to help them acquire the physical characteristics of the opposite sex. (that's according to the dictionary) My belief was that transexual is what you become after the operation and transgendered are the feelings and emotions involved. Correct me if I am wrong because I am really not sure.

Qiana

pjricher-

My thoughts exactly.  If two people can provide a loving, safe and secure home for a child, I don't care how "different" they may be, nor what I do or do not understand or identify with.  I had the most "normal" family situation out there.  And there was more pain and abuse than anyone could imagine.  I just hope that they will be wonderful parents for the child, as I hope for all children.