WomenCo.

This story is about THE SADDEST thing I have ever heard!!!  I am 36 and I find myself realizing my selfishness as a parent, never mind 16!  I had absolutely NO parenting skills at 16, none what so ever. This is such a tragedy!

What is going on in the homes of these children is what I want to know!

I heard this on Fox News yesterday.  They interviewed a psychologist and he said that most of the girls come from single parent homes and have very little parental supervision because of the long hour their parent(s) have to work to pay the bills.  That the girls probably feel a void and thought that having a child could fill that void.  Too bad they didn't see that new reality show about the young couples who want to have children, they are given a baby to take care of to get a small dose of reality. 

I read the article in the news, and I, too, am saddened by this foolish choice. With all of the education available, you would think the girls would know better.

I think we need to bite the bullet stop being so naive and start putting sex education into the schools.  This whole "abstinence" bull is not working and was joke to begin with.  We need to realize that our little 'babies' are not babies anymore but adults with sexual urges that have no idea who to talk to and what to do.  I remember reading something about a teacher being fired because the students were asking her questions about sex and the different forms of it and what could cause harm and the 'myths' surrounds such things.  To me she was doing her job, she was TEACHING!  People are more and more ignorant as to what the consequences are when having sex to which I can not understand because its not like a 'hidden secret' or something done 'in dark corners' it its all over the tv, Billboards, adds, etc!

When I read this article this morning, I almost fell out the chair.  It's really sad, because at 16 you don't have the mindset to take care of and raise a child. I'm sure there are women who have done it before, and I commend them, but the average teenager can't fathom the real responsibility of having a child. Most are still living at home with their parent (s). and I'm not sure I agree with the pyschologist who mentioned these kids coming from single parent homes, and thats where this mentality came from. I came from a single parent home, but very early, my mother taught me the reality of sex. Her words were "I'm not going to tell you it doesn't feel good, BUT"...and I tell you everything she mentioned after BUT, scared the hell out of me. She mentioned the STD's, babies, moral issues, all kinds of stuff...I'm 33 and when I hear the term 'little red school house' ....I'm petrified!!! When I got pregnant I was 23, and I promise I was beyond scared to tell my mother. A neighbor told her because I too afraid....so I wouldn't say coming from a single parent home is the reason....They need to be sure to teach sex education in the schools. They need to teach parenting in the schools.  They need to put prayer back into the schools, because Lord knows with these kinds of things going on...we need prayer!!! And we all need to get back into looking out for kids other than our own.

mzbrown says ...

When I read this article this morning, I almost fell out the chair.  It's really sad, because at 16 you don't have the mindset to take care of and raise a child. I'm sure there are women who have done it before, and I commend them, but the average teenager can't fathom the real responsibility of having a child. Most are still living at home with their parent (s). and I'm not sure I agree with the pyschologist who mentioned these kids coming from single parent homes, and thats where this mentality came from. I came from a single parent home, but very early, my mother taught me the reality of sex. Her words were "I'm not going to tell you it doesn't feel good, BUT"...and I tell you everything she mentioned after BUT, scared the hell out of me. She mentioned the STD's, babies, moral issues, all kinds of stuff...I'm 33 and when I hear the term 'little red school house' ....I'm petrified!!! When I got pregnant I was 23, and I promise I was beyond scared to tell my mother. A neighbor told her because I too afraid....so I wouldn't say coming from a single parent home is the reason....They need to be sure to teach sex education in the schools. They need to teach parenting in the schools.  They need to put prayer back into the schools, because Lord knows with these kinds of things going on...we need prayer!!! And we all need to get back into looking out for kids other than our own.

HERE HERE! Well said!

I am slightly evil though and want to play the devils advocate. Don't flame me, I am shocked and saddened too. But...

At 13 my Great Grandmother had her first child. One of 9 that survived. She was a robust women who ruled with an iron fist. My Grandmother had her first at 18, and her last of 7, at the old age of 39, she too, ruled with an iron first and a warm heart. I wonder why it is that we have changed so much, as a society, in a short amount of time, to assume that a 16 year old is irresponsible. If these children were a contributing member of society..i.e. already graduated, had jobs and/or had partners that had jobs and could take care of the offspring financially, would we still be appalled? Or should we? My Grandmothers did it, why can't they? Have we raised our children with no personal responsibility?

And what is wrong with these men that they have sex with teenagers without protection? These are the types of things that happen when our wants and desires outweigh our better judgement. It's a sad time we live in, and for the record, I would have a VERY difficult time not reintroducing the chastity belt if my daughter made this type of stupid decision.

And MZBrown is 100% correct. WE ALL need to be responsible for our children. But first we have to agree on the guidelines. Moral judgement has become too gray of a topic. It should be pretty clear cut, but it's not when we teach 'you can have what you want when you want it.' We inundate with 'instant gratification'.

Here's the really unpopular part: We need to teach, and to learn, self control. Condoms break, pills don't work for everyone (my sister got 2 kids that way :)). The ONLY thing that is 100% foolproof for preventing pregnancy is abstinence. It isn't too much to ask. If you have ANY type of self control at all, you can abstain. And yes, I did, so I KNOW it can be done. :) But these girls didn't WANT to and ONLY they can tell you why.

Teenage pregnancy is not new-  what is new (at least it made news this time) is that these teens want to do it together. The neighborhood I grew up in, being pregnant by 16-17 was a regular occurrence, if not younger. And as teenagers we did use each other for support.

We have always had the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the world and we are a country that does not believe in openly teaching sex education, birth control and condom usage to our kids.

This story makes me sick and very, very sad.

These girls have not only altered their entire lives and that of their unborn children but to become pregnant by someone you do not know or whose medical history you know nothing about is downright frightening. There are too many things wrong with this story. Unfortunately in today's times it becomes another news story, sensational and forgotten tomorrow.

As a working mother I struggle every day with the guilt of leaving my child to another's care. The struggle with providing the best life I can for her versus me being there for her in the flesh. It has been hard at times but I will say that I try even harder to be present, to be there and to know what is going on. This is a mother's primary job regardless of her career ranking or her career ambitions. Where are the parent's to all of these girl's????

My gut tells me these girls were looking for attention. Possibly attention they were lacking from close family memebers, parents, teachers, etc. And while that is certainly sad, I cannot believe those girls did not know, at 16-17 years of age what the implications would be if they succeeded in what they set out to do.  What these girl's lack is self confidence, self worth and pride for oneself.

 As a society we should be putting our money towards programs that empower young girls. Programs that boost their self worth and confidence. Programs that groom young women to go out into the world with something to offer such as their intellegence, skills, personality, sense of humor, etc.

This week, the news reported that the pact was untrue; however, there was an increase in teen pregnancies at the Massachusetts high school this year. The principal claims that his memory is foggy; the Mayor of Gloucester denies proof of the pact, and Oliver, one of the pregnant teens, said her pregnancy was unintentional. Who knows whom to believe?

You decide. Here are the links to the articles.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-06-24-pregnancy-pact_N.htm?csp=23&RM_Exclude=aol

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2008/06/24/so_called_pregnancy_pact_in_mass_town_questioned/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed4

Navy1wife,

Please do not fear this opportunity if you want to have children. Kids are indeed a joy, and every parent has fears. As long as you are honest with your children, the lines of communication will stay open. Please read the topics in the forums. You will discover that parenthood is not easy, but I do not think any of us are unhappy that we became parents.

My doctor said it would be difficult for me to become pregnant. I had my first child at 31 and my second, a surprise, at 37. The first pregnancy was high risk; the second was a breeze! I don't recommend waiting this long, but you are still young. When you are ready, you will know the time is right.

kar23 says ...

Dana_Billingsley says ...

I agree with 99% of what's been said here. But I have to say that our boys need just as much education on this as girls. They need to know not only the implications of sex and how to protect themselves, but the emotional and psychological differences between teen boys & teen girls / women and men when it comes to sex. These differences, if not explained, can cause some severe emotional damage.

You are absolutely right- men and boys need to be just as involved with these issues, as well as other historically viewed "women/girl's issues".  Highly recommend Jackson Katz's Macho Paradox.  Not so much the pregnancy issue, but address' men's need to step up and alter what defines manhood.  Thanks so much for this important facet to the discussion!

I do agree but the media and our society will ALWAYS stick the blame on the girls!  Its always "oh she got pregnant, well she shouldn't have opened her legs!" thing  never on the guy!  Girls will ALWAYS suffer the consequences for it.  Most cuss words and slang used to degrade are aimed towards females or named after female parts (Cunt? Slut? Whore? Pussy?, you get the picture).  I was reading an article on ABCnews.com about how 1 in 4 teen girls have an STD now I am not a genius but I do know it takes two to tango and they did not GET IT BY THEMSELVES!  Until society makes it not such a one way street "My son has SOO many girlfriends he is such a stud!" "My daughter has soo many 'guy friends' I am worried she will get a reputation"  But the change will have to be made by the parents, mothers especially, you as mom can sometimes put the stereotype in their heads, not on purpose, you just have the same brainwashed ideals of how YOU were raised! No abstinence is not the answer, 'abstinence' in general does not mean they don't do other things....just means they wont use the one area!  I knew a girl from Russia that swore up and down she was a virgin and therefore not a 'damaged' and could still be ' pure' and 'marriageable' because the guy never stuck it 'in there' as she called it but she told me all about the other areas guys did!