WomenCo.

Some women are not just working to better themselves financially, physically, or emotionally. Religion, and spirituality is making a comeback and reclaiming its place, to be JUST AS IMPORTANT.

When looking for THE ONE (or when you were looking), Does it ever matter to you what their religion is? Does it matter to you if it differs from yours? --And if it is different, and you decide to marry, what is the plan for the kids: Mommy's right, or Daddy's right?

It depends on the people, I personally think religion is a personal thing not a group event and unless you work in a religious field, it should stay out of the workplace (too many bad experiences).  I also think people have the right to choose their own religion, meaning when I have children they can pick whatever they want, I will not force them nor will I hinder them from learning about whatever one that catches their fancy.  Not dating someone or marrying someone who does not believe the way you do is disrespectful of them and shows that you are too closed minded or were looking for a reason to not be with this person.  Or a fear that maybe they might be right and you might be wrong, or vise versa on all accounts.  When it comes to children teach them both, why not? 

I personally think that YES their religion matters. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?".  The bible teaches that the man is the head of the household, but that even when the man doesn't follow the word, the woman should lead religiously as to win him over without a word...so in my mind, that says the child should follow the teachings of the mother.

I have to say that it does not matter as long as each one respects the other and supports each other in following their faith.  My man and I are not of the same faith and we are going strong 5+ years now. It works for us because we support each other and allow each other to have our differences.  We embrace it.

Mutual respect, communication and support is key.

I think a lot of it depends also on what faith you belong to as well, if you follow faithfully a path such as the lady who puts her man ahead of herself and the bible as the only word and follows it word for word then being with a man of any other faith will probably not work.  If you go to church every week and want that family unit in church and host the bible study group, then chances are you would not be happy with a man who visits his church in the woods and has a altar honoring Cernnunos.

What is the vision of family to you?  That is question.

AnnEvanston says ...

Religion, the institution does not.

Religion, your spirituality does.

 GREAT ANSWER.

AnnEvanston says ...

Religion, the institution does not.

Religion, your spirituality does.

 

Marriage between two individuals of different  spirituality  often times, causes children of that union to be confused and torn between both parents guidance.  In my humble opinion, I think back then where it was not the norm for one to mary out of their spiritual culture, children were more subdue in their attitude. However, with the inter- religious marriages , there is a marked drastic rise in the intolerance of youngsters who I believe are torned between the different beleifs.  Mother says onething and  father says  another, the child is being ask to play hypocrite, confussion reigns and in the children's bid to free themselves of these  religious teachings their lives becomes a nightmere. The marriage between two different religions does not always work, it might seems so in the begining; but it is only a matter of time that it will crumble.  

Elorraine says ...

AnnEvanston says ...

Religion, the institution does not.

Religion, your spirituality does.

 

Marriage between two individuals of different  spirituality  often times, causes children of that union to be confused and torn between both parents guidance.  In my humble opinion, I think back then where it was not the norm for one to mary out of their spiritual culture, children were more subdue in their attitude. However, with the inter- religious marriages , there is a marked drastic rise in the intolerance of youngsters who I believe are torned between the different beleifs.  Mother says onething and  father says  another, the child is being ask to play hypocrite, confussion reigns and in the children's bid to free themselves of these  religious teachings their lives becomes a nightmere. The mdoes not always work, it might seems so in the begining; but it is only a matter of time that it will crumble.  

 

Elorraine - institutionalized religion and spirituality are NOT the same thing! And I am curious: do you think that children born to parents of different races will cause confused and torn children? Lastly - what you describe happens in MANY homes because the parents have not become a united front - that is really the issue - not religion, or race!

AnnEvanston says ...

Elorraine says ...

AnnEvanston says ...

Religion, the institution does not.

Religion, your spirituality does.

 

Marriage between two individuals of different  spirituality  often times, causes children of that union to be confused and torn between both parents guidance.  In my humble opinion, I think back then where it was not the norm for one to mary out of their spiritual culture, children were more subdue in their attitude. However, with the inter- religious marriages , there is a marked drastic rise in the intolerance of youngsters who I believe are torned between the different beleifs.  Mother says onething and  father says  another, the child is being ask to play hypocrite, confussion reigns and in the children's bid to free themselves of these  religious teachings their lives becomes a nightmere. The mdoes not always work, it might seems so in the begining; but it is only a matter of time that it will crumble.  

 

Elorraine - institutionalized religion and spirituality are NOT the same thing! And I am curious: do you think that children born to parents of different races will cause confused and torn children? Lastly - what you describe happens in MANY homes because the parents have not become a united front - that is really the issue - not religion, or race!

I dont think that children born to parents of different races will cause confused and torn children, however when it comes to spirituality, thats where the problem is. I know of children whoes parents have different religious beliefs, and their lives are in turmoil; because both parents think that the children should embrace their belief over the other.  What about two people who are in a relationship, and all of a sudden one party decides to embrace a religious belief that is radically different from the other party ?  Is'nt that a recipe for disaster if there is no compromise .

AnnEvanston says ...

Religion, the institution does not.

Religion, your spirituality does.

 You are so very right! I am fortunate to belong to a church and denomination that believes God gave us a brain to use, not to always follow blindly. And that teaches respect not only for Christians with other beliefs, but even of other religions. Like someone else said here, children will be confused if the parents are not united in what they teach, it is all about communication and respect.

I find that similarities in your religion are very important if you are set to be married....avoids a lot of arguments once you do have children and you realize you both have STRONG opinions one way or the other about how to raise your little ones!  It is similar to having a boyfriend who does not want children, but you do....does that mean either of you will be forced to a life of misery?(you not being able to have them and him stuck with a child he really does NOT want?)   Communication is key with all issues....that is why dating is so important...it is the time to discuss important issues to see where you both stand so there are NO surprises! 

MekaRevell says ...

Yes Yes Yes it matters a great deal...I married thinkin it wouldnt matter we just smooth thangs as they come up...boi was i wrong...communication is key and both parties gotta be on the same page or in the same book to do so...in the end the relationship ends...but there is a lesson learned...discuss this before the I Do or soon it will be I Dont Ever Again...lol...

Was it the different religions that was the problem or the communication breakdown?

For personal relationships, religion doesn't matter to me. However, this is because I keep religion strictly at bay in my life. I don't let it affect my work, my schooling, or my decisions. Many people do. 

For this reason, I usually take into account a person's religion when I'm getting to know them so that I know what sort of acts, mentalities and potential arguments to expect. 

Over all, I really don't think religion should matter. It should be a personal decision, and one that people should keep to themselves under certain contexts.