General Forums >> General Discussion >> Fear of Loneliness Greatest Motivation for Marrying?
Fear of Loneliness Greatest Motivation for Marrying?
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Posted 4 months ago Just yesterday I read an article in one of our local papers where the columnist, who writes for singles, stated that she believed the only real reason people give up the freedom, autonomy, and excitement of the single lifestyle in favor of marriage is a deep seated fear of being alone. They settle into "monotony and manogamy" . My initial thoughts were that marriage is not a remedy for loneliness or any other malaise. Marrying with an "escape" mentality is begging for disaster. Your thoughts? Crystal A. Hernandez, M.S., MFT
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| Posted 4 months ago I disagree with this assessment. Marrying to combat loneliness will not make you feel less alone. Marriage is not the ultimate goal for everyone; individuals should do what feels right for themselves. |
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| Posted 4 months ago I think loneliness can get worse in a loveless marriage. Re-enlightenment is in the realization of the fact that we have only the present moment to live. |
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| Posted 2 months ago I do not believe that people are motivated to marry for fear of loneliness, although there may be a handful who do. There are many married folkes who are so lonely.
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| Posted 2 months ago Marrying out of loneliness wont cure the fear of being alone. Also, if you are insecure marriage won't cure that either. |
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| Posted 2 months ago Absolutely 100% agree. I can look back and know that that was the main reason I made that horrible choice on the day I got married.-Now happily divorced and single. With boyfriend who lives 45 minutes away. LOL. |
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| Posted 2 months ago Marrying because you are lonely is dangerous. Even the best marriage can be lonely at times. I believe that for love is the only reason a person should get married. Loneliness is an internal thing and marriage would not change anything. I agree with Rasika, I can't think of anything lonlier than a loveless marriage. It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not. - Unknown |
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| Posted 2 months ago I whole heartedly disagree with the columnist. There are many varying reason why people marry. One may be out of fear of being alone but there are many others. Some marry because that is how they were brought up and anything else is not an option, some marry for financial stability, some marry out of a need to be legally bound to someone else, some for love and thinking it is the next natural step, some for religious reasons. In my present situation the only reason I can think of to marry is because he is military and if he goes overseas I want the military communication and ties as well as the benefits in case something happens to him - I want to be able to visit him in the hospital, etc. (knock on wood that it never comes to that!) Otherwise, we are doing well without the legal document. I do find it interesting that it seems that everyone who has responded to the columnist equates being alone with being lonely. These are two completely different things. |
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| Posted 2 months ago Well, Well, Well…isn’t it funny how so many things in life tie in together. Monday, I was a little down about a few things concerning my current relationship, and I sent one of my best friends, who recently got married, a text message asking her why she got married. And her words were “At first I thought it was for love, but I ask myself a lot of times why I even did it. I got lonely sometimes, and I think that’s another reason why I did it.” So maybe that is the reason why some people do it. I really think that you should marry for Love! And before getting married you should be satisfied with who YOU are. Be happy with who YOU are. You should feel whole/content in your financial, emotional and spiritual self. You never marry to feel completed. We all get lonely sometimes, but I don’t think its reason to get married. Ms. Antoinette M. Brown I am a divine original fashioned by God to be radiantly beautiful! |
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| Posted 2 months ago I know about lonely, both within and without a marriage! An unhappy marriage is a terrible thing, but I don't see glamour and excitement in being single either (and frredom? What did Kristofferson say....freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose...). I am glad I got out of that bad marriage, I don't like being single and the single scene, but I would never marry unless it was for love. |
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| Posted 2 months ago Everyone probably gets hitched for many different reasons... Some for love, some for the companionship (combatting lonliness)...and some like me...for $... (I wish) All kdding aside, we need to remember that many columnists carefully write to purposefully ilicit controversial interest in their articles. It is True, as many of you wrote, that being married does not make an individual less of a lonely person if they are in a solitary state of mind... |
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| Posted 2 months ago I feel terribly lonely yet am married!.. yuck its a gross desperate and cornered feeling... although I donot blame hubby for my feelings... Rasika I agree whole heartedly with you!
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| Posted 2 months ago Don't do it. I've done that twice and my current situation is like living with a roommate. I could have gotten a roommate with out a marriage license. I've lived on my own many times in my life and actually do better. It's nice to have someone around to talk to, so get a dog. Cindy Stand for something or else you will fall for anything |