Group Forums >> Hardest Job in the Military >> Starting over
Starting over
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Posted 7 months ago I can't be the only one who feels like everytime my husband gets a new job, gets deployed or returns from a deployment, I feel like I am starting over. There are a lot of military spouses who have to put their career goals aside in order to take care of their families in a military lifestyle. Me and my husband have been married now for almost 9 years. I have been with him since he was a LCPL and now he is a SSGT. I have been through several field ops, trainings, schools, long work hours, shooting ranges, and 3 Iraq deployments just to name a few. I always told myself that I would never marry a military man because I didn't think I could handle all the seperation but I have found that I am stronger than I thought. I have found that being a military wife does not mean the end. It actually means several new beginnings for me and my family. After being married for 3 years I decided to go back to school. I could only attend part-time between taking care of me, my husband and our daughter. She is now 4 years old and I am kind of scared about what to do next. I was a stay at home mom for the first three years of her life. I have now been back in the work force for almost a year. I finished school in March with a BS in Criminal Justice. I was really excited about getting to finally start my career and now my husband is wanting to have another child. I want another child but I really want to get my career started. I just don't know what step to take first.... |
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| Posted 7 months ago My husband is a retired Marine so I can relate, with one small difference, I was also active duty for 12 years. As for what you should do first, have another child or start your career? Ask yourself some questions. How long do you think you'll want to work at your new carreer before having another child? If you had another child first, how old would you want the child to be before you went back to work? How long before you think your husband will have orders again? Jean Bentley
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| Posted 7 months ago I can so relate. Two years ago I started towards a career in the administrative field. With only a few years left in the Navy and the decision to not move again (even if he got orders else were) due to the kids starting high school, it just seemed like a good time. I did have a couple of jobs here and there when the girls were little but now I can give them dinner nights and such. I also don't have to worry as much about them needing me to be home when they get home from school. This plan worked for us but I know other military spouses who have worked part time or went to school online so they could still be home for the kids. Other wives don't understand and I explain it as most of the time I'm a single mom. |
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| Posted 7 months ago I agree, it is so hard to try time & time again to "start over" when we move to a new duty station. I have been married to my Marine for 10 years now & finally am making money & making my own hours with 2 in-home businesses. But, I never had the chance to go back to school until recently & at this point I have no interest. I am enjoying being able to volunteer for his unit and for my daughter's school. This is the decision I made and it works for me, but as SenderofCards mentioned...you really do have to ask yourself those very important questions. Eat One Square Meal a Day ~ A Box of Chocolate!!! |
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| Posted 7 months ago No, you're not alone, I'm just a rookie with only 4 years in but I completely understand. I got my master's in 2001 and then married in 2003 to my military chaplain. We make a lot of sacrifices, just as they do, but I think we are some of the most strong, creative women I know! I gave up my career and now am a work-at-home mom. The best gift we can give is being a great wife and mom and do something we love and find purpose in doing and give back to our community. |
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| Posted 6 months ago thank you for all the posts. Your thoughts are really something to think about. I think the best thing for my career would be to go ahead and have the baby and then start my career so that way I would not have to take such a big break right at the beginning of my career. There are a lot of sacrifices that military wives have to make in order to keep our families together. I really feel like all the trials and tribulations we have to go through being in this atmosphere only makes our relationship stronger. This type of life is not cut out for everybody. Prior to meeting my husband I felt it wasn't cut out for me but now I know I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else but right here with him. |
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| Posted 6 months ago ltjoseph: That's a great attitude to have. I was a military wife for a short period when our first child was born. I'm also a Navy vet. My girls are grown and I am in my 27th year of my career. I got an AA degree a long time ago and just recently got my BS. I think you are making smart decisions and although we all have opinions, only you can make the right choice. I wish you the best! Being home with your children when they are small is a wonderful thing! |
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| Posted 6 months ago You are so NOT the only one who feels like you have to start over every time you move. Since I married my husband 5 years ago, I've had to move every year. He talks about his friends who have wives that won't move and he doesn't understand why. I finally explained to him that being his wife wasn't the easiest job in the world, and that I've had to give up some pretty darned good salaries (along with my home and my military career) to follow him. It's hard to go from starring in my own show to be his supporting cast. Our first year of marriage was the absolute WORST for me. He never realized that until we recently had this conversation. If I received my resume, I'm not sure I'd hire me as there are too many restrictions - I have to work only banker's hours, because I can't count on my husband to be there to pick up the slack, and based on our current record - I'll only be with the company for a year. We have no support system, so there is really just me to care for our children. And what just happened yesterday... we got orders to move, and oh yeah.... we'll only be there a year. |
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| Posted 6 months ago I can understand everyone's frustrations. I have been married for 10 years and have supported my husband throughout. I recently finished my MBA degree and once again I'm looking for a job. The last two jobs I have worked less than a year due to relocations. We are working on having a baby and I want to start a career. I am looking for jobs but it is so hard, and looking at my resume I have minimal experience due to relocations but the education I have is a plus. Thank God I was able to finish my MBA before 30 years of age. We are suppose to move again next year, so I will be starting all over again, sometimes I feel its not worth me finding a job right know at all. JUST VENTING!!!! |
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| Posted 6 months ago I am so with you all on this topic. I have been married to the Army for two years now. I left a career and haven't had much luck since. I took a couple of dead end jobs and ended up resigning. I have no kids to take care of, so what to do? I am trying to find a job that is satisfying for myself personally as well as financially. This is my first move to anywhere with my husband. I worked in the same place for eight years before I moved with him to Hawaii. It's hard, but I love my husband. He is a great man and very supportive. I can't afford more school. I am still paying off loans from my masters degree. Oh well, I will just keep looking and see what turns up. |
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| Posted 6 months ago Although I am not married to him, still I have similar issues. I am having difficulty with finding a position in our new town partially due to my resume and the amount of moving around I have done. It doesn't scream stability at all. Every two years I have a different job. It is one reason why I am trying to start up my own thing. It's an idea that will move with me, I think and if it really takes off I can see expanding into different areas with other people on board. I have also struggled with the idea of finally getting into some college courses but the money just is not there for it right now. Being that we are not married and I have been independent for so long, it's difficult for me to lean on him financially. He has enough of his own stuff to deal with, it's hard enough being at the point now of him paying my bills. I have decisions to make as well. |
