General Forums >> Sex & Relationships >> When the physical attraction is lost
When the physical attraction is lost
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Posted 4 months ago I remember kissing my husband for the very first time, there were sparks. I don't know how it happened, but I have gradually grown to not enjoy kissing him at all anymore. We have lost a lot in our relationship - and we are at a point of trying to discover if we want to continue on as a married couple. We are great companions, wonderful friends - but the spark is, and has been for a while, absent. I wonder if it is my bitterness that has developed and grown from not feeling appreciated or like he is really happy - or if it is just the way it is with us?? I'd love to hear about other's stories of losing the physical attraction and if they've gotten it back? My husband is a very, very attractive man - he has a physique that belongs in Men's Health, and I'm not exaggerating...he takes his physical appearance very seriously. Ironically, the sex is getting a little better since our talks of going our separate ways....I'm so confused!!! I'm reaching out because I feel alone in this! |
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| Posted 4 months ago If he is physically attractive on the outside and you don't feel attracted to him anymore, then it clearly is not about his looks, right? When there are "sparks" when you kissed, it wasn't because he was smokin' hot, it was because there was a CONNECTION mental and emotionally, as well as physical. What is missing in your relationship that was there before - closeness, sharing secrets, time together, a common bond, a fun activity you used to do? Did kids or work or money come between you? Try to identify what is missing. If it is simply "newness" then maybe add a spin to the relationship. A new activity to share? Perhaps some role playing the bed room with a 'new' identity will help? ;) Also, maybe you need to go out on more dates to new spots, maybe even a club where lots of young people are. You might feel out of place but it'll take you back to the days you first met.... Hope that helps a bit! |
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| Posted 2 months ago Women are pasionate beings, we crave our spouse's affection,moral support,financial support,approval amongst other things. Women find it difficult to respond to the sexual needs of her mate if there are unresolved issues in the relationship. Her sexual drive will not come into action as it is controled by her mental state of mind. Men at times ignore the pleas of their partners to reconcile the issues that are affecting the growth of a once vibrant relationship; they may blame the woman as petty and simple expects the woman to shift into the happy partner gear and continue, this is an awful mistake men often make. Women are sexualy aroused by the mind, one that is free of "gargage" dumped by passed negatives or dissatisfiers; while men are aroused by sight. There are some men who get it right....some make an effort to try... some do'nt care to try. We must stand firm as women and let the man knows he has a choice; examine the problem and resolve it either by themselves or with the help of a mediator. It takes nothing for a man to reach "cloud nine", but a woman needs re-assurance, respect, love and above all a LOVER.
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| Posted 2 months ago Heather07, I'm sorry you are going through rough times right now. I want you to be encouraged, that this too shall pass. You and your husband seem to have the desire to make it work, and anything worth having is worth fight for...so fight my friend, fight. My soul begins to cry when I hear of marriages that aren't doing good. Marriage is a great institiution. I'm not married yet, so I can't relate on the level of losing the physical attraction with my husband, but I have several friends that are (and have experienced the same thing)...and I'm no virgin, so I've experienced a few things myself. Not to mention that I'm in a long distance engagement, thats starting to take it's toll.......Anyway, What I try to have my friends do is identify the problem. Men are visual, we are emotional. So identify if there is something that got lost in your emotional attachement to your husband. Identify if it's just you that feels the physical attraction is lost. Do YOU feel sexy? Do YOU feel beautiful? Are YOU happy with YOU? If not, that may present a problem. Is it just the sex that has lost it's flare, or is it the intimacy? Often times we mistake the desire for intimacy for sex. "Today, the word intimacy has taken on sexual connotations. But it is much more than that. It includes all the different dimensions of our lives -- yes, the physical, but also the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy really means total life sharing." Hope this helps!
Ms. Antoinette M. Brown I am a divine original fashioned by God to be radiantly beautiful! |