General Forums >> Generational Diversity >> This made ME feel violated...
This made ME feel violated...
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Posted 5 months ago A recent youtube video does an excellent job of showing the trauma of sexual abuse. sufficiently creepy:
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| Posted 5 months ago That was very creepy..wow |
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| Posted 5 months ago That is very creepy. It makes me think the people who do the abuse are like snakes and that is what that reminds me of low down and dirty snakes.... |
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| Posted 5 months ago Talk about vivid! Abused people must feel like the abuser is as incidious as the invading creature in the video. it's interesting that the filmer addressed only the abuse on women, and the image that only death frees the victim is intense. |
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| Posted 5 months ago Very astute, Norma! I didn't pick up on that image about death. It is interesting that only abuse on women was addressed, too - assuming that female character is intended as a stand-in for all women (and only women). |
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| Posted 5 months ago The message: No matter hold you are, or what point in life you are in, you never escape that life experience that draws on your memory. It pulls you away from your reality right then and there, and makes you experience that violation right there on the spot throughout your life. It is the reality of living with post traumatic stress syndrome caused by sexual abuse and/or rape. Quite frankly, I might not be able to get rid of that reality until I die. It's just part of my reality as much as feeling the sunshine against my skin. |
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| Posted 4 months ago A friend described this as "Dalí meets CGI." Incredibly effective PSA. |
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| Posted 2 months ago This brought tears to my eyes. A family member of mine was abused as a teenager and never got counseling. In her twenties she suffered a break down and has had some off and on therapy since. I hope that she will eventually get the type of help she needs. "People will forget what you say, they will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel!"-Unknown |
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| Posted 2 months ago I find the video a startling look into the public perception of the role abusers play and how the abusee is never free, until death and even then the abuser ‘hangs out and on’... Well I am in dissent. I totally am the voice for one creating their own harmony with life no matter what has happened to them, in the realization that not every one will be held accountable in life for egregious acts and yes, life isn’t fair. It never will be and don't carry this with you til your on death's doorway. One can hope that someone will come forward becoming the whistle blower they need, however the likely hood that will ever take place is, remote. That does not mean or equate to you having no control or say on how you will lead your life. The only default switch that is triggered is self definition. What I’ve learned I could probably write an article on and below, is the short version. The only thing that is consistent in any mess is change and having the faith that this too will work out. The word ‘work out’ means that in every step of walking with grace you address the harm and neglect you experienced over time and the resulting change, you grow wiser and stronger. Your next question is how do I get the faith when there is none left? Take a breath and step back, and sit with the earth. You first say there is no time, or that it is too odd and I encourage you to take a moment and pause, sit quietly with your feelings on solid ground. You will realize that it is you and only you, that’s responsible for your happiness, satisfaction, self growth, prosperity and mental health. This means you are aware that you are not alone, yet remain the one person that can give self love, commitment and understanding with no questions asked. Your past, trauma or not, abuse or not, is the pathway to finding your self definition, and your self definition is the character and traits that you use to define who you are, day in and day out. Individuals (men and women) repeat acts of abuse on their person by accepting the role they were demanded to perform in as a child, often engaging in abusive relations as adults and I encourage you to break free and break out of the (look at what happened to me) box. A step in finding self definition is learning how to be the mother (or father) to your inner child, quieting her/his fears and providing reassurance that just for this moment (not the next, not in 3 hours), just this moment everything is ok. You are here, you are alive and you’ve made an active commitment to start anew, finding that the self love you have been searching for all along has been right here, in your presence the whole time. Your capacity and ability to have self love is not predicated on the abuse you received or suffered. Only your mind determines what you love and why; so expand your mind and grow your potential. Recognize the energy needed to create a ‘new’ network (like the one here at WomenCo, between members) is significant and by default means you are ready and able to address the possibility of rejection, acceptance and vulnerability, yet once again. Think about it. Life is daring you to have self confidence, daring you to succeed, daring you to create self love, self worth and challenging you, if you will, to play your weakest hand; a forehand of self doubt. Champions, people who succeed, (whether they were ever abused or not) learn their weakness better and harness the hidden potential by learning their elements of self definition. Give birth to a new you, know your strengths and know your weakness better; I’ll see you on the courts of life. Peace. |
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| Posted 2 months ago Sometimes shock value is the only way to get people to see a problem. Child sexual abuse happens far too often- boys and girls, men and women. This clip seemed to follow one individual throughout her lifetime, so understandably very little diversity in the representation of what a victim "looks like". I remember speaking to women in their 60s about their childhood victimization, I was the first person they had disclosed to. How can people heal when they feel like they will not be supported or believed? Whether those beliefs come from the perpetrator or the media perception of victims. Healing, recovery is a unique experience to each person, there is one 'right way' to get through your trauma. Let's get to prevention, (although not to downplay recognition, response and treatment). Sex is something that we don't want to talk about with our children. Imagine the young child who runs into the room and screams out "PENIS!" How would the majority of parents respond? "We don't use that language!" or "Don't say that!" Kids test adults, "if mommy can't hear me say that word, how can I tell her what is happening to it?" Do we give children the proper words for the intimate parts of their bodies? Of course not: pp, chochie, kitty cat, linel richie (yes, really), dauba, pussy, hose, chicken, boop-ee, popolita, little man- these are are really examples of names I have heard children be TAUGHT for their penises or vaginas. Kids are smart and understand that they are not the real names, they may be children, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to start to question "linel richie". Adults are uncomforable and feel shame around talking about this, not children- they learn to be ashamed of their body parts and sex from us. I know this is my soap box, I realize that there are those who may not agree, but my opinions are based on research, training, best practices, and experience working with child sexual abuse. We all contribute to a society that does not want to hear about sexual abuse, especially sexual abuse against children. If you took the time to read this- thank you. Education is the biggest step towards keep our children safe. In case a child discloses to you best thing to do is BELIEVE THEM. Even if you question the validity- do not do so in front of the child, leave it to the professioals who are specially trained in these issues, and remember that recantation (saying it didn't happen) is a PART of disclosure. Some studies have documented recanation in the MAJORITY of "gold standard" cases (ie: a case where there is a witness to the incident, phsycial findings, and/or confession). Check out www.nationalcac.org for more information on support programs and resources in the US. Korina Anja |
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