WomenCo.

I considered making this post on the anonymous forums but I refuse to hide behind anonymity when this issue is this important to me and has been eating me up almost since November 4th, 2008.

Most of you know me here, and you know I'd never try to hurt anyone with my words. I've always been able to maintain my composure most of the time anyway if a post has rubbed me the wrong way. Under no circumstance would I ever come on here and TRY to denigrate ANYONE. I would not try to insult anyone by attacking their character or calling them names. No matter how mad I am about something. That being said, I'm going to attempt to tackle an issue that has more people than just me upset on this site. I have received personal private emails because some members do not want to deal with confrontation, so I ask that you take my word for it when I say I'm not the only one upset about this issue. (I don't like confrontation either, but I'm also not going to shrink into a corner when I am one of the people who has been attacked and/or offended.)

If this were just one incident, I probably would not be making this post. But there have been several since the election. And off the bat I'll say that the issue involves RACE. And it does not pertain to every person of the African American race. Only a few, and they know who they are.

First, I respect everyone in this virtual community, NO MATTER WHAT THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN IS. I do not base my friendship on skin color. I want to be friends with EVERYONE, whether we agree on things or not. I am from the south, but my mother and dad, as imperfect as they as humans were (just like the rest of us) did NOT raise a racist. Oh believe me, I know racism when I see it. Don't anyone think for a second I'm saying there is no racism in this country. There is. And it comes from MORE THAN JUST ONE RACE OF PEOPLE. But getting back to what I was saying, I love EVERYONE. I would never call a person any kind of racial slur or put them down because of their race because I consider them equal to me as a human being. My blood is red and so is theirs, no matter what color their skin is.

My neighborhood is a pretty big one, and there are not just white people here. There are people from different nationalities and races on the streets that make up my neighborhood. And everyone is friendly and treats each other with kindness. Not as a formality. But as NEIGHBORS AND HUMAN BEINGS.

My political preferences have never been and never will be based on race.

Since the election I have seen some people go ballistic when I personally have said that I accept Obama as our president-elect even though I was not happy with the outcome. This is a HECK of a cry from the people who have criticized President Bush (even on a personal level) these eight years relentlessly as well as those who even have claimed he's not their president. But I guess because I'm not falling all over them saying I'm sorry for the way I voted, they see it as a form of disrespect to them. GET A CLUE! I'm accepting the man which is something some people could never do with GWB. But because I maintain that I don't think he was the best choice for POTUS does NOT mean I disrespect you. That mentality simply blows my mind. If you're looking for an apology for my vote, don't hold your breath. It AIN'T gonna happen. I won't apologize for standing up for what I believe is right and I don't give a flying hoot if Obama was white, black, green, purple, red, or orange. It had nothing to do with his color. And my opinion has nothing to do with disrespecting anyone.

The post DENIGRATING white people left in the last couple of days has obliterated any respect I could ever muster for the person who said this. So I want to give some food for thought:

I know a good deal about my ancestry. NO ONE IN MY PAST EVER OWNED A SLAVE (whether white or black slave. )And even though there were white slaves back in those days, that were treated MUCH WORSE than black slaves were, and black slaves even participated in the treatment of the white slaves, I do not hold that against anyone of the African American race because THEY ARE NOT THE ONES WHO PERSONALLY TREATED THE WHITE SLAVES SO BADLY. And it makes me SICK that someone would even utter a thought talking as if every white person in this country had taken away from blacks and treated them badly and this is somehow payback. I've never taken a thing I didn't earn. To my knowledge I do not know anyone who has done this either. I treat people the way I want to be treated. And if you really think all of us here in the south revel about the practice of slavery, and that's the idea I get from some of the posts since the election, YOU ARE TWISTED. YOU ARE WRONG. YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE AS TO WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

My vote was NOT based on race. But those who have made those comments, let me just say that you have left the indelible mark in my reasoning that you don't give a flying HOOT about America because you only voted for the one credential that meant anything to you. You voted for race. You put race before this country. And in my opinion, it is this kind of behavior, these kinds of posts that have offended so many that keeps racism alive. AND THAT WAS NOT BROUGHT ON BY THE WHITE COMMUNITY. IT WAS BROUGHT ON BY THE ONES WHO MAKE COMMENTS LIKE THESE RACIAL ONES OVER THE LAST 3-4 WEEKS. I, for one, am not going to sit back and say nothing. I will not be demonized because some people have a chip on their shoulder and would rather put their vengeance for something that was prevalent 130-140 years ago ahead of an intelligent and informed decision ON WHAT'S IN THE BEST INTEREST OF OUR COUNTRY.

I don't want to beat a dead horse with all the arguments that have been made so many times. But the fact that these OFFENSIVE AND RACIAL posts have been made since the election, I just wanted the community to know I am TICKED OFF ABOUT IT, I am hurt by some of the comments, and I, as much as I don't want to go into all that pre-election bull again, just can't let this stuff go without saying something.

To the ones who referred to women who liked Sarah Palin as being stupid, I'm dumbfounded that you could utter such a remark. And it makes me question your character as well.

To the ones who made it a point to come on here and trash John McCain, denigrating his service to this country, you should be kissing and spit shining his shoes. He is one of the many who have given so much of themselves so that you have the freedom to show up here on WomenCo. and make such a cruel remark.

To the ones who call Sarah Palin stupid or dumb: The woman is not stupid or dumb. If she were, then she would not be where she is now. Just because you don't like her politics or the way she talks, or the way she dresses or whatever else, she is a human being and one that shares our gender. Back-biting is really ugly among those of our gender. If your reasoning in not liking her REALLY  had to do with her politics, then that's fine. But attacking the woman and calling her names is DISGUSTING. I will say this for her intelligence though, at least she knows how many states are in this country unlike Obama. At least she's never been kicked out of a political race for plagiarism the way Biden was. At least the people who voted for her knew where she stands on issues.

I guess I started to stray here a bit from the topic at hand, but those are also things I think that needed to be addressed.

I truly believed once the election was over that everyone would come back together as a collective community and put this NASTY crap behind us. Instead, since the election I have witnessed some of the meanest and cruelest posts that are worse than anything said before the election. And while I welcome with open arms all the rancor to stop, I simply cannot and will not ignore the offensive racially motivated things these few members are making without saying something.

PLEASE STOP THE RACISM HERE ON WOMENCO BY THE FEW TROUBLEMAKERS FOR THE SAKE OF THE COMMUNITY. It will not go away just by ignoring it. None of us should be afraid to speak up and call it what it is. The type of posts made by these few do cause hard and hurt feelings, and if we don't stand up to it when it happens, although I'm no psychic, common sense tells me this type of behavior will be a factor in causing a decline in member participation here.

If I've offended anyone by my post please know it was not my intent to hurt anyone.

Mommy2mykids- thank you, thank you, your post is appreciated and completely supported.  It was also over due and necessary.  This is not the type of community that we treasure here at Womenco.

Honestly Ladies...

I dont think this lends any positivity to the topic...But as I have always said, here I am a strong and firm advocate of Non-censorship. But for me the inaccuracy of  many of the historical facts both on Slavery and on Politics; and the references towards one Group in a derrogatory sense makes it mostly like listening to rhetoric...And I do not respond to rhetoric unless it is in an educational setting for educational intent, which this doesn't seem to be.

The bottom line:

• Everyone here should remain positive, uplifting, empowering and respectful towards each other and be productive in networking and social community activity in order to maintain a friendly, engaging and collaborative website; which is diverse and inclusive for all women.


• Have fun, relax, treat one another with support and involve yourself into appreciating difference and learning from it; which will benefit the whole of this woman based community, and the all other environments.


• We all bring our whole self into any community with our beliefs, cultures, preferences, likes/dislikes, affiliations, and lifestyles and must learn to embrace diversity even when we disagree or are offended; and this practice will enable a more respectful and appreciative community for all to enjoy.

Angela Renee'

"If you are not a part of the solution than you are a part of the problem"

The consensus (if I am reading these things correctly) is all about "positive change"..aren't we trying to do exactly that; as a country, as a global family, as human beings?  Then, I am rather certain that we can do that as a group here at WomenCo, don't you?   The running theme here is letting go of the things that are bad, and looking for ways to improve where we are, how we are, what we are, not just for ourselves, but for each other.  And how we deal with each other.

I know that I am passionate about  a myriad of subjects, as are most of my contemporaries on this site.

We can be the ones to make this site the most sought-after, life-altering avenue for women, if we work together.

Is everyone up for it?

Marie~

Thank you dear for sharing your experiences.  One thing that we taught our daughter was to NOT discuss religion or politics.  This often leads to arguments, fights, disagreements, violence and sometimes death.  But, to each her own.  I've taken the high road and won't discuss my political views with people because I KNOW my views will cause controversy.  My husband and daughter are the only ones who know my views.  Not even my mother, brother or sister.  I'm ok with that.  I'm a peaceful person.

What I'd like to address is the mention of slavery.  If we, as adults are unable to discuss issues in a mature manner, then we should not discuss them.  If they cause tension, and bigotry and anger and hatred, let's leave it alone.  My views are my views and yours are yours.  I studied vehemently African History and Egyptology, therefore I credit myself as a worthy person to throw out a few facts:  During the Transatlantic Slave Trade and the Middle Passage (which was a 150 day journey from African to America), there were 50 million Africans who died.  Some by suicide, some murdered, many, many jumped ship and others died due to the horrible conditions and diseases. African Slavery is one of America's ugly sins.  I don't think we should be in the business of comparing which form of slavery was worse. 

Quite honestly, slavery in any form is horrific.  I (as an Afro Haitian with obvious African roots) would NEVER dishonor my ancestors by arguing about slavery.  I honor them with memories, and tears and prayers my way of praying) and with love.

Let's not compare slavery.  Let's work to abolish it.  Slavery is still going on.  I work with an organization called the Emancipation Network and we are seeking to abolish slavery of women all across the world.  Email me for more information.

Let's be peaceful and loving.  Whatever negative experiences you have in life, consider them lessons.  Perhaps there was something you needed to learn from this or something you needed to teach.

Warmly and lovingly,

~Angie

AngieToussaint says ...

Marie~

Thank you dear for sharing your experiences.  One thing that we taught our daughter was to NOT discuss religion or politics.  This often leads to arguments, fights, disagreements, violence and sometimes death.  But, to each her own.  I've taken the high road and won't discuss my political views with people because I KNOW my views will cause controversy.  My husband and daughter are the only ones who know my views.  Not even my mother, brother or sister.  I'm ok with that.  I'm a peaceful person.

What I'd like to address is the mention of slavery.  If we, as adults are unable to discuss issues in a mature manner, then we should not discuss them.  If they cause tension, and bigotry and anger and hatred, let's leave it alone.  My views are my views and yours are yours.  I studied vehemently African History and Egyptology, therefore I credit myself as a worthy person to throw out a few facts:  During the Transatlantic Slave Trade and the Middle Passage (which was a 150 day journey from African to America), there were 50 million Africans who died.  Some by suicide, some murdered, many, many jumped ship and others died due to the horrible conditions and diseases. African Slavery is one of America's ugly sins.  I don't think we should be in the business of comparing which form of slavery was worse. 

Quite honestly, slavery in any form is horrific.  I (as an Afro Haitian with obvious African roots) would NEVER dishonor my ancestors by arguing about slavery.  I honor them with memories, and tears and prayers my way of praying) and with love.

Let's not compare slavery.  Let's work to abolish it.  Slavery is still going on.  I work with an organization called the Emancipation Network and we are seeking to abolish slavery of women all across the world.  Email me for more information.

Let's be peaceful and loving.  Whatever negative experiences you have in life, consider them lessons.  Perhaps there was something you needed to learn from this or something you needed to teach.

Warmly and lovingly,

~Angie

Angie: Thank you for your post. But I want to make something clear. I was not comparing slavery of any kind. I tried to enforce that African slavery was NOT the only form of slavery that has occurred in this country. And that I don't run around with a chip on my shoulder ALL the time, making comments like those that have been made against ANY race. I was not saying one is worse than the other. I do agree though that if people cannot speak RESPECTFULLY then the ones who made those posts would fare to learn from what I said. I am not the one who made the derogatory statements about a certain race. They are. And those are the ones who should really think about what they have said.

Thank you again, Angie.

Diana: These were comments on some articles made both before and mainly after the election, not in the forums.

Hi Marie~

I apologize if it seems that I implied you were the originator of such horrible words.  Please forgive me if that's what you got out of what I said. 

I am not worthy enough to judge anyone and that was not my intent.  I really appreciate you and the courage it took to convey your feelings. Continue to be strong and loving and know that we are women business owners, employees, mothers, sisters, daughters and more; and we're also very supportive.

Women ROCK and so do you!

Cheers,

~Angie

brandylynn1975 says ...

Mommy2mykids- thank you, thank you, your post is appreciated and completely supported.  It was also over due and necessary.  This is not the type of community that we treasure here at Womenco.

 I am in total agreement. Thank you mommy2mykids. I share your voice and stand behind you 100% .

I just wanted to say one last thing here , I have been debating for a month now on deleting Women.Co from my computer all together. And this is the EXACT reason. I am not racist and I respect that not everyone has the same oppinion as I do. How ever I do exspect to be able to also have my own, and be free to speak and voice them also. It seems to me that we can get on here and talk as long as we talk about what the others want to. But if we stray from their beliefs we are pointed out as the aggressor. And forced to defend ourself and beliefs here. Marie did not start this it came from a post on what Obama would do as far as new jobs ! One person came on attacking and disrespecting ALL WHITE PEOPLE ! And that person was GINADIVA,(And this is not the first time she has made racist rude remarks here) So everyone should go read what she stated before questioning Marie on her reply. As for me ,I am sick and tired of defending myself and my rights on here . I can get this anytime anywhere . I don't have to come to Women.Co to get upset and insulted. So I am deleting this website. mom2my2kids , You have my personal email and i will always be here for you to talk to if you NEED A TRUE FRIEND ! For the ones that have stood up and made sensible respectful comments THANK YOU. But I have always lived by one rule, WHEN THE BAD OUT WEIGHS THE GOOD , IT IS NOT WORTH THE EFFORT . As for the future of this website I hope this makes you all stop and think , Is this the way you want to be represented in the future? And if not you should all STAND TOGETHER AS WOMEN AND STOP THE FEW ON HERE THAT ARE GUILTY OF RACIST, RUDE ATTACKS LIKE GINADIVA'S.

Mom2my2kids I Love you as a sister and friend and THANK YOU for standing up for all of us here , And atleast I can say that Women.Co has atleast been responsible for connecting me and you ! 8-) You take care and keep your head and heart up . Dont ever change who you are or APPOLOGIZE FOR IT !  You are a beautiful and loving person !

I have to say I am both surprised and saddened by this thread.

I also have to say I agree completely with Marie. The comments were made! Not by everyone but the one that made such comments represent a "group" (if you will) even though not everyone in that "group" agree with her. I think if you are one of the ones that disagree you should have your say on this thread. I was also offended by the comments. However I have decided to keep my thoughts to myself and enough has already been said.

Thank you Angela, and you have a great day and even better weekend!

Hugs,

I hope that all posters remember that although this is an open forum for discussion, we should act with decorum. Disagreeing with another poster is healthly as long as it is not a personal attack. Let's get back to the purpose of sharing ideas and supporting each other and put the rancor aside.

McKaren says ...

Wow - I take a month off - and look what I miss.  I just wanted to add - it hurts when mean and untrue things are thrown at you, especially undeserved.  And it is often difficult to let something like that go ... my Dad used to say "it takes two" so --  my opinion only - in a circumstance like this - often the best response is not to give one at all.  .  Take a deep breath and move on.

Exactly. Let's all take some deep breaths and refocus our attention to why we're here: to connect with and support one another.

What in the world is going on?? I can't leave for a few days without everyone going crazy. (LOL). Everyone needs to take a deep breath! ...........come on...deeper! Now breath!! Stop letting people have so much control over your emotions that the words they say offend and upset you. You'll be dead from high blood pressure, and they'll still be talking. To hell with them! If they are so cruel as to be prejudice,  let them. I figure, if you think enough of me, to set time aside to degrade and disrespect me, then I must be special. People fear what they admire! I know a lot of people have been hurt by some recent post, because I have to. But let's not give them the power to upset us. This world and life itself is in enough turmoil to let a bunch of niave ignorant people upset us.  For those who believe in God - remember they talked about Jesus. If they talked about our savior - who the heck are you that they aren't going to talk about you too. Let's not give these people the satisfaction. OK?? Love you all! Now smile~!