WomenCo.

There was a time in American that holidays were enjoyable, shopping was something to look forward to, picking and choosing gifts for our loved oned.

What happened?  Surely, you have heard in the news that Black Friday has become a day of violence.  You can't really even go shopping and enjoy the experience.  It's frightening.  It's dangerous. 

Is this happening because we (althought I don't celebrate the holidays in the traditional fashion i.e. no gifts, etc) have lost focus on it's true meaning and significance?

Why is this happening?  Is it economical?

People went out to shop yesterday and ended up not going home.  They ended up dead,  How in the world did that happen?

Let's discuss this.

~Angie

It's horrible that someone had to lose their life. People here in NY, in the malls, are unbelievable rude and nasty during the holiday season. But then again, we have these sales going on that start at 4 in the  morning. The stores put to much emphasis on this and the people, who can save $20 on a gift, actually wait on line from 2 in the  morning to get the best deals. Everything is so commercial.

Me, I dont shop at the malls. Its to packed even in the summer, let alone the holidays. I shop on the avenues which have individual stores. I love it.

I teach my children the real meaning of Christmas. I do buy gifts for them but they have an appreciation of what its all about. The gifts, I explained, is just a way of saying how we love each other, nothing over the top. We leave cookies for Santa, (the big ones dont believe but they go along with it, and the little one could care less about  Santa. I told them Santa represents people who give to others who dont have much. We usually make either a cake or a special bread for Jesus. We celebrate his birthday.

This year I will go caroling with them. Last year I was sick, I couldnt do it. We go to houses and sing Christmas songs. Sometimes people give them  money, a dollar or 2. I usually let them keep it before but this year, if they get something, we will give it to our church come that Sunday. They are still little yet, 7, 8 and 4 so they dont understand the whole concept like we do, but I feel that if I instill it in them when they are young, they will grow up with the right idea. I try.

Sorry so long, I got carried away.

I think it's a shame that the holidays are about how much money you can spend and not about family.  I noticed that a couple of stores where open on Thanksgiving.  Years ago I used to get up early and rush to the stores but I find people are mean and bitchy.  They will cut you off in the parking lot and  in lines.  I notice people don't seem to appreciate gifts anymore like they used to.

If you take a good look at the ads, most of the stuff isn't really on sale or it's just a couple of bucks lower.  The stores maybe give a couple of little things away to make it seem like it will be a great idea to get there at 4am.  But I have to really wonder,  what is the benefit of buying your gifts that early?  Are you really saving a lot of money?  Is that lack of sleep and aggravation really worth it?

We went to Mervyn's the other day after 7pm.  We got a lot of clothes at 50% off and there was hardly anyone else there. 

It is difficult to readjust everyone's expectations for the holidays.  Over the years I've found that my enjoyment of the Christmas carols and lights and spending time with family has been diminished by the expectations and demands to buy, buy, buy. We have tried cutting back on presents and met a lot of resistance.

For some time now I've noticed that the stores, in the malls and elsewhere - seem to have revved up their marketing strategies - the second you walk into a store there's a hard push to separate you from your money - it's almost palpable.  For years now I have avoided the malls (though my husband loves to shop) - all the pushing and pulling - plus, this hard push from the stores themselves - not my idea of quality time with the family.

The best part of Christmas for me has always been spending time with the family.  Now we have four delightful grandkids and I love spending time with them - they are the ones who still believe in the magic.  We decorated the tree this past weekend and it was so much fun watching them carefully select the next ornament they wanted to hang.  We always do art projects with the kids - so this time of year it's fun to pick projects they can make and give as gifts -- they work so hard and they're so proud when they're finished. 

So, we made out our lists - for their gift-giving; we're making our own christmas cards and gift tags. I'm hoping to take each one out alone for a day of shopping and lunch -- then come home to decorate their gifts - nothing that involves alot of money - but plenty of heart and soul from each one of them.  Of course -- I have the time to do all this with the kids - my daughters are doing the usual running around like a chicken with no head -- 'cause there's always too much for them to do - so for me, it's my pleasure to help take a load off and spend this special time with the children.

Music is a big part of our lives - so we will sing the Christmas songs together -- they love to put on little shows.  My oldest granddaughter is in charge of cookies -- I gave her my recipe book and she's made out a shopping list - I'm turning over the kitchen so that she can make and bake to her heart's content.  Don't want to sound hokey - but this time of year is especially dear to me; long walks in the winter chill and then home to hot cocoa,  tv night with popcorn and a Christmas classic, family potlucks and then a game of Clue.  It's that time of year for reflection, an opportunity to connect with the joy - hope and love.  Christmas prayer - world peace. 

I love the idea of getting gifts for just the kids -- or -- pick a name for one gift - I think some families have that tradition.  I've never been able to convince anyone here at home that the one gift I'd love receiving is a couple of hours of downtime with them - drinking tea or just hanging out together. 

PS - don't forget the stockings!

Karen,

I love the way you put into words my sentiments. I have been annoyed at the store's timing of  inventory. If fact, it's one of my pet peeves. They put out winter clothing when I need a summer piece. They have Thanksgiving wreathes out with Halloween costumes,  and Christmas ornaments before Thanksgiving has even occurred. Christmas music starts after Halloween.....

The holidays are commercially promoted, and we have bought into it. I am resisting it this year. I, like some of you mentioned, meet resistance from my children, but they're going to have to get over it. They have their own lives now, and it's time I quit going all out. My youngest is 23, so it's time, don't ya'll agree? LOL. The grandkids get soooo much, that I'm going to use self restraint there as well. I would like to spend my time as Karen suggests. Let's break out the board games..... and yes, I'm still going to do the stockings!!