Group Forums >> Grief, Loss, and Bereavement >> If you could speak to _______, what would you want to say?
If you could speak to _______, what would you want to say?
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Posted about 1 month ago I felt the need to have a place to talk about a loved one, a broken relation, or whatever your situation. I'm going to talk about my grandma Ruby. I can't explain the bond I have for someone I didn't get to spend much time with as a child. But I know her love for me was so pure... I felt it thru the core of my being. She was born poor, abandoned as a child, abused by a drunken husband, and son.... She died alone. Despite all her heartbreak on earth, I believe her name speaks volumes about her as a person. To me, she will always be that special jewel, and if in my everyday comings and goings, I don't speak of her, just ask me. I'd love to talk about her. She's gone, but she did live, and now, I would be comforted by having the acknowedgement from others that she was here. Ruby Marcum 6/15/1919 - 12/5/1983 If I could talk to my grandma, I would tell her how much I admired her courage, her ability to love, her ability to forgive, and for being someone I still, after all these years, wish I could hug just one more time.....
"What you do for yourself - any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself - will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you're doing for others, and what you do for others, you're doing for yourself." |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Sherrie, your description of your g-ma reminds me of the connection I had with my great g-ma. She led a hard life but had such vigor for life! She was such an amazing woman. I was young when she died but the understanding we had still leaves me... SPEECHLESS! She was funny, witty, intelligent, wise, concerning... and so much more. I miss her and yet I was so young when she died that I'm not sure how I came to understand her the way I do today. I miss her. I'm sure that not one soul but hers could put my fears to rest. I love you grandma (that's what I called her). Too young to remember the date of her death.
Need Breeds Ingenuity!
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| Posted about 1 month ago Kat,
You spoke my truth........ Sherrie "What you do for yourself - any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself - will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you're doing for others, and what you do for others, you're doing for yourself." |
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| Posted about 1 month ago So, the answer to (your) the question... what would I want to say... I love you! AND thank you! You've helped to mold me. Need Breeds Ingenuity!
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| Posted about 1 month ago My mother was one of the smartest women I've known. I would ask her so much about herself. I would ask her why she gave up living her life when her children was born. I would tell her how much I loved her and that she should have never had to suffer at the end like she did. That I wish I could have been there with her to hold her hand. I would tell her that I know she is still with me every day and I can feel her guidance when times are rough. I would tell her everybody is o.k and we miss her immensely.
SPARXS SPARXS |
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| Posted about 1 month ago if i could speak to my father, i would say i forgive you. he passed 7 years this september.. we were estranged for the last 15 years. The last year of his life he contacted his children. My brother and myself came back into his life. My sister stayed away. he knew he was dying and i think by contacting us it was his way of saying i'm sorry. i called him every saturday night to talk to him. he lived his last years in a wheel chair in a veterans hospital in florida. my brother lived in florida at the time and every 2 months would drive up north to see him. i didn't get to see him but our conversations were sometimes wonderful. he wasn't a horrible man, but he was very selfish. he confused independance with selfishness. he wanted everything his own way and went about it with total and complete selfishness and without thinking about anyone else. the good thing about him is that he taught me how to love. i am very affectionate and give myself freely to the ones i love. this he taught me. the difference is that he only loved on the basis that you are/doing/being what he wanted you to be etc. anyway, i know by me getting back into his life he saw that i had forgiven him. but i do wish i would have said the words. i'm not guilt ridden about it or anything, he lived his life the way he wanted it and he died i think fully satisfied. so he had a peaceful heart when he died and i guess i'm glad about that. i wouldn't want him to die with regrets. i know this may sound confusing but thats what my father was. thanks for listening. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago I would speak to my Dad and tell him that my life is good and his granddaughter is healthy, beautiful, kindhearted and funny. I would tell him that I moved on like he wanted me to and that I hoped he was proud of me. It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not. - Unknown |
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| Posted about 1 month ago
Let's see, If I could speak to my son, I would tell him that despite the fact that we only got to spend 6 shorts weeks together, that he lives on forever in my heart. I would tell him that he came into my life at a time when I didn't love myself, and didn't think anyone else loved me either...but his little face was enough to make me know that he loved me, and that I was worth being loved...and if no one else ever loved me that I should love myself. Ms. Antoinette M. Brown I am a divine original fashioned by God to be radiantly beautiful! Accounting professional committed to integrity, professionalism, and support to drive a business toward success. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago My great-grandmother was a feminist in her time. She put her brother through medical school by teaching piano lessons. And according to my mom, she also loved - with a passion - shoes. I feel like there's so much that's apart of me that was also in her. I'd love to meet her, to have a conversation with her. To hear what it was like being an advocate for women in her time. And to use her experiences as inspiration for my own. Anna H.
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| Posted about 1 month ago My Grandad, I would tell him that I'm sorry for letting my denial (that he was dying) take over so that I couldn't stand to see him like he was and for not spending more time with him in his last days. Instead of letting my mom read a letter from me (because I was so emotional), I would tell him myself and that he was the best friend I've had over the years. I would tell him I'm sorry for the mistakes I've made while "growing up" because I know there's some things he'd be dissapointed with if he were here. I would look at him in the eyes and tell him how much I love him and miss him. I would tell him that I wished I'd hugged him one more time when he squeezed my hand (he squeezed my hand so tight when I left him the last time, I know now it was because he felt it was the last time he'd see me) and of course I'd hug him if I could. ~“I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job.”-A.Whitecomb
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| Posted about 1 month ago I would talk to my favorite aunt who was like a second mother to me. My aunt was one of the most loving and giving people I know. She would be unhappy this year because her beloved Yankees played poorly this season. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago I would love to hug my dad one more time and tell him how much I love him and miss him. . his twinkling blue eyes, the way he told jokes, the way he held my infant daughter and rocked her and sang to her (just like he did to me). I would thank him for all his hard work and for making sure I got a good education. I would thank him for letting me be "Daddy's little girl" and teaching me the meaning of love. George S. Kennedy Jan. 19.1909- June 2, 1976 Imagination. . .is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared. (J.K. Rowling) |
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| Posted about 1 month ago I would talk to my father and ask him "Why?" |
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| Posted 20 days ago Their have been many losses in my life. Some are not an actuall death but felt almost as bad. I would like to say to my son though, " I miss you so much and it is hard sometimes to want to keep going on with out you here. I know you brought so much joy to so many people and you taught us all so many lessons. How you died is still discussed to other kids so that hopefully it won't happen to another child. I would love to hold you again and feel those strong, loving, forgiving and understanding arms wrapped around my neck again. I wish I could learn to let go of the pain and the selfishness of wanting you still to be here. I hope you didn't feel pain and that you were greeted with open arms. I know you are close but .............I miss you. I love you. I will be happy to see you again someday! Until then take care and I will keep talking to you in my prayers. Hope the fishing is wonderful and Foxy and Cocoa are having fun with you and everyone else in our family who is with you. Love you, Mom Like I said above. Loss, grief and bereavement are not always about death. This message of what I would say is to some one who has moved on from this world. But there is other things that can cause us all pain, or make us feel that old pain again. I do hope you all have support from family or friends when times are tough or you are burdened. I put my faith in God. I know not all believe in him and that is okay, put he does help me through a lot. |
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| Posted 20 days ago This December (8 days before Christmas) will be the 10 year anniversary of the day my older sister died. If I could talk to her I would say I'm sorry you were alone when you died. I wish we understood better what you were going through and maybe you would still be here. I hope that you and dad are getting along better in death than you did in life. ( He passed away in Feb 2006). June Sockol
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| Posted 19 days ago lilred,
rosalia |
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| Posted 19 days ago lilred~ I can relate. We lost our 2 year old in a house fire. If I could speak to Aquene' I would say, "we miss you so very much but guess what? You have a younger sister and she's brilliant and talented just as you were." I would say, "I died too, when the firemen brought out the "body bag" but now I live. We all live again, through you. Thanks for being our guardian angel and thanks for watching over your sister, she needs you!" ~Angie Angie Toussaint
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| Posted 19 days ago June~ I can't imagine losing my oldest sister. She's my mentor. She's the reaon I went to grad school. I'll never forget what she had printed on our daughter's tombstone - "though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass of glory in the flower; we will grieve not, but rather find strength n what remains behind."
~Angie Thanks for sharing Angie Toussaint
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| Posted 18 days ago Thank you to both Angie and Rosalia, Angie I can't imagine going what you went through other than the loss and not getting to say goodbye. I hope you can remember all the good times more than that incident. My heart does go out to you. Rosalia, Thank you. It definetly is not something I would ever want any one to go through but it does happen. Thank you for your blessing. Dorle (LilRed) |
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| Posted 18 days ago Trust me, when you lose a child, you lose yourself! And no matter how many kids you have afterwards, none can or ever will replace that one. It's a long hard battle! Ms. Antoinette M. Brown I am a divine original fashioned by God to be radiantly beautiful! Accounting professional committed to integrity, professionalism, and support to drive a business toward success. |
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| Posted 16 days ago Thanks lilred for your wonderful words. Yes, the good times are still very vivid. It just so happens that the fire happened on my birthday so the memory never fades. You are very king. Yes mzbrown, it's a long, hard battle and that child can never be replaced. Thank you all for sharing and it's good to know that others can relate. I don't feel so alone when I talk about it. Bless you all so much. ~Angie Angie Toussaint
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Yall got me in tears!
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