Group Forums >> Single Moms >> Coping.....
Coping.....
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Posted about 1 month ago What do you all find are the hardest parts of being a single mom, whether you are one by choice or circumstance? Would you say childcare, working a full time job and trying to make it home before the sun goes down, trying to work full time and being able to have the kids in extra-curricular activites if you work a distance away, finances, medical and dental, being everywhere at once, etc.....? For me personally I would say trying to work a full time job, and be there for all school programs and any other events they have. An example : Last week I had to miss my little ones 2nd grade program at school because it was in the middle of the day and I work an hour away from where we live. I dont have anymore paid time off except one day, which I have to save for their upcoming full day off, because daycare is so high. And I had to take a day off that week as well because my other daughter was sick and needed to go to the doctors, needless to say I had to miss the program, and felt awful. To make matters worse, my little one was upset and would not talk to me until right before she went to bed. I am the kind of mom that is there for everything and I drop the ball for work, so I guess maybe my real problem was not the job or the school program, it was just making wisely choices.... Well ladies, not that I was trying to be a downer, but I just wanted to know if any of you go through these kind of things and how do you cope? I took it to God and just asked that he would help me make wise choices and allow my baby to forgive and more importantly me to forgive myself, because I am only one person and sometimes I wont be able to do all things, but i will do all that is within my capabilities.... |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Emarie, You did the right thing by going to God and asking him to forgive you and your child to forgive you, I know how you feel I have been a single mom for 15 years I have 3 boys it is tuff I know there has been times that I could not be there for them and I put myself down for that, but I realize as long as i was doing my best it was ok. God gives us the strength to do the things we do and he does'nt give nothing we can't handle. My advice is to stay open with your children and when you can't be there or do something for them explain to them why and just believe they will understand. Thru time as they get older they will understand more and appericate everything you do for them... My oldest son is now in the military and he wrote me a letter last week and thanked me for always giving him the guidest I gave him and the values I gave him. He thanked me for being the person he became, and told me mom if it was'nt for you I would not have made the decisions I made in life. And he told me how much he appericates me. As they get old they will realize how special you are and appericate you even more, then you can pat yourself on the back for the great job you did with each one of them.... I hope this help And thank you for starting this topic it is a great one.................Samajo |
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| Posted about 1 month ago I to am a single mom. Tough is not the word for it. I did the single mom thing already. My oldest will be 23 soon and I find myself doing it again. You must remember theres only one you. I try to do everything I can but you just cant sometimes. As they get older they will understand. My oldest remembers really hard times but she knew then as my 3 little ones know now, that mommy loves them and I try my best. Its okay for kids to know you're not perfect. Its okay to make mistakes. It teaches them. I always promised my children, I might not give you everything you want, but I'll always give you everything you need, and that is love, understanding, acceptance and unconditonal love. Give them that and in turn they will give it back to you. And pray. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago thanks ladies for your post, it helps to know i am human, even though most times I want to be superwoman... |
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| Posted about 1 month ago The other Single Moms are right on!! Pray often and pray for guidence and strength! Remember too that if you don't take care of yourself in front of your kids as much as you take care of them, they may copy what they see. You want them to grow up strong for their children, but for themselves as well. It's all to easy to put all of yourself into trying to give them everything, but you may look up one day after they are grown and wonder what is now left of your life for you?? When you get overwhelmed, PRAY and ask for help! As strong women, it is often hard to stop ourselves from trying to do it all for everyone. When you can't be there for an event, and you can't change your schedule around, explain it or get a friend or relative to sit in for you! Children understand if you explain it to them! Don't forget to forgive yourself when you can't be Superwoman sometimes! AnnetteR |
