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A Child's View on Race
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Posted 3 months ago Mentoring is often a challenge. Trust is earned and not always given automatically. I would experience the most interesting mentoring challenge when faced with an issue on race. I was matched with a young Caucasian girl as her big sister in the Big Brother Big Sisters program. It was fine for I considered it a chance to work outside of my comfort zone. One of the other students asked the first grader who I was and she responded, "I was her big sister". The fourth grader looked at me perplexed and responded, "How can this be I am black? Was I adopted?" I was stunned and all I could say was I am not really her big sister and it was the intent of the program we were involved in to pair us as pretend sisters. I have been contemplating on this for awhile and I have been unable to remember when I first grasped the concept of race and its perception in America. My question to all of you is when did you first have a discussion about race with your children and how did you determine it was the right time? |
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| Posted 3 months ago I don't have children...but I'm not surprised that happened. I actually think kids know a lot about race before the age of ten, although they may not yet be able to understand race in very abstract terms. I think all kids notice differences in physical appearance, and are curious about differences. So this child may have been asking this question out of curiosity and confusion since they are still learning about race and different kinds of families. However, don't think that any children are born racist...they are taught racism, prejudice, and stereotypes from those around them. A lot of that is also due to lack of exposure and integration with people of different cultures. I think its fabulous you have a white child to mentor! You will be an important teacher in her life by giving her the experience of a caring african-american woman as a big sister! Very cool. |
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| Posted 3 months ago I do not have children either...but I have always believed that in every home race is a discussion. Children know alot by the time they are 5, I feel. They are inquisitive creatures, but very honest in every way. I have nieces and nephews ranging in various shades of beauty and believe me they know the difference. However, they are very much exposed to everything and everyone. Alot of what children learn about race is what they hear their parents say. After all in their earlier years they spend most time with them. But the new conversations of today when adults get together include children being present and permitted to comment. With my nieces and nephews I have never discussed it in depth with them, but I do let them know that these differences mean nothing, but who you are and how you treat people mean everything. I leave the rest to my own siblings. |
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| Posted 2 days ago I think the first time I became aware of race was when I was on vacation in Puerto Rico, actually. I was about 9 years old and I was at a water park. Somebody yelled, "Negra! Negra!" to get someone's attention - which means black, black - and I assumed they were talking to someone else. Turns out they were trying to get my attention. This struck me as very funny, to be called black, when I am white, merely because I have brown hair (it's a Puerto Rican expression for all brunettes) but I remember it got me thinking just how relative everything could be. I remember thinking how skin color, hair color, etc. is that these "identifying characteristics" are seen differently by everyone. And because they're so re-interpretable, they're not that important and not necessarily defining of who anyone is. |