WomenCo.

Have you ever been discriminated against for ANY reason?  If so, how?   How did it make you feel?  How did you handle it?

My first experience with being discriminated against happened 16yrs ago when I was 17.  It was at the hands of my boss at that time.  I worked at a dept store and the manager was a white man and one day a very large group of Mexican nationals came in and spent OH SO MUCH MONEY.  I thought that was a good thing but he looked straight at me and asked how I felt about "all those god damn Mexicans" coming intot the store to show off their wealth to us less fortunate white people.  I was totally shocked because I too am of Mexican descent.  It quickly became obvious to me that he learned of this because my hours went from 40 a week down to 23, from one day to the next.  Initially I was shocked and then slowly the confusion and anger began to set in.  I decided within the next week that I couldn't work for a man like him.

Silly lady, MzBrown!    No, this is not a trick question but I can understand how you may think that....

I just wanted to create an place for us to "let it out".

I've never felt blantantly discriminated against until I transferred to NW Florida for a job.  The newly hired HR MANAGER, who was technically 2 months younger than me (she liked to point these things out) would blatantly discriminate against anyone who wasn't Caucasian/white.  She was originally from TN and was dating a married man still living there - she told all the managers about her relationship, which is relevant, as she eventually got him a contracting job working as my peer (another interesting story).  Anyway, the day she was hired, a team manager was hired at the same time - a woman who was originally from Jamaica, half-black, half-Chinese, who I immediately became friends with.  The HR manager did not like her and told her, "There are things that I can do that no one will notice that will let a person know that I don't like them" - like it was a message/warning to her.  That was basically exactly how she'd let you know she didn't like you - for example, she would stand behind other managers so they couldn't see her and face my friend, giving her dirty looks.  She also would come up to me and say things like, "So I see you got a hair cut."  I'd acknowledge that I did, and she say things like, "So you like it, do you?" in a sarcastic/nasty way she had of acting like she was going to give you a compliment, but didn't.  One time she confronted me in front of my peers and started talking about an old movie that me and another person there had not seen.  She then proclaimed to everyone there that I didn't have an 'culture' since I'd not seen the movie.  What?!  She also loved to go over and attempt to flirt with my husband, who also worked at the same place - that part I didn't care about, just illustrates how pathetic and blantantly unhappy/insecure/jealous she was.

She eventually joined forces with the center manager (another woman from a nearby state whose motto was "It's all about perception" - another bad manager story) and got bolder in her actions, and would do things like walk around and point to a black employee and proclaim to the managers in her vicinty to, "Watch her, she can't be trusted".  She didn't whisper it, either.  It was mind boggling.  She eventually was authorized to have an assistant, who she then told was not allowed to talk to me and a list of other people she didn't like.  When higher level managers would visit from out of town, these two would put on completely different personalities - basically, putting on a show and kissing the Director's and CEO's butts, so they wouldn't know the wiser about what really went on in the center.  When the assistant eventually transferred to another office, the truth came out about how she was verbally abused and badgered and how the HR Manager told her that if she ever tried to say anything bad about her, no one would believe her, as the HR Manager had bad-mouthed the assistant to her Director.  Of course, this outpouring of the truth to the Director had no impact on the situation.  It was maddening.

The thing about the situtation is that there was no one to tell in that center - I and others complained to the center manager, but that manager was friends with the HR Manager, so that went nowhere.  If anything, complaining just led to more harrassment by the HR Manager.  She felt she was untouchable. 

The center manager was less obvious at first in her actions regarding who she personally liked or did not like, but I don't think I'll ever forget the day a bunch of the managers got together and went to the beach on a Saturday.  Where we were sitting, there was a rope sticking out of the sand for a boat or water vessel to be anchored to.  Anyway, the center manager's husband was there and was playing with the rope as he drank a beer - he looks at my Jamaican friend dead in the eye and says, "This reminds me of when they used to do those lynchings".  WHAT???!!!  Needless to say, the center manager got very embarrassed, while he was laughing about it, but my friend and I were taken aback.  First of all, the guy is in his late '40s maybe, too young to really 'remember' that, and who thinks of that and uses the word "lyching"?

I thought this to be an isolated event, until one day not too long after, when I was driving with the center manager in her car (we lived in the same neighborhood).  In the neighborhood, there are some really nice houses that are along the canal - one of which, is owned by a brown family - I don't know if they were from India or the middle east or what, as I'd never talked to them before, but never really thought about it, just admired their house.  Anyway, as we drove by this house, she starts talking about this brown family and how we need to, "run them out of town" and how they need to, "go back where they came from".  Again, I was beyond words.  First of all, I'm thinking, gee, I wonder how she really feels about me?  Quite frankly, I know she didn't know anything about this other family, who, for all I know, maybe they were born in the US, and this IS where they came from! 

Anyway, those little tid bits were just the tip of the iceberg and things got way worse as time went on.  Yeah, the truth came out, but since the company was about to go into a merger/be bought out, no one in upper management cared.  The HR Manager was eventually transferred to a different location, but only after getting into a big challenge of egos with the center manager.  Both kept their jobs at the company after the merger, though the HR Manager did eventually leave the company on her own.

I have to say, I've lived/worked in many states on the west coast/rocky mountain area and never felt even remotely racially discriminated against until this experience, which happened to be much more than one incident.  It was over 4 years of a hostile work environment, and what I've learned from this is that no job is worth putting up with crap like that.  The only thing that made my job tolerable is that I reported to an entirely different group in another state, but still, I say never again.  The added mental torment, the stress of having to deal with people like that, the frustration and having to ignore that things are happening that are just WRONG/IMMORAL - you couldn't pay me enough to go back into a situation like that.

Sorry the story is so long - I tried to tell as little of it as possible...  :(

I was just discriminated against because of a disability.  I am filing an EEO.

TheEverydayFeminist says ...

Decriminated against when I went to buy my last car. At the time I made more $ than my man, but the car salesman directed all conversation to him and acted like he was buying the vehicle even though I made it clear that I was. Jerk. Total stereotypical situation, I know.  We all are descrimated against regularly. ALL of us in different ways...sad but true.

Yea, same thing happened to me when I was buying a car, dude learned after a while I was the one in charge and started acting nicer.  Husby thought it was F-U-N-N-Y!

I had the same car situation happen to me.  By the time I got done with the salesman, the general manager came over and asked me if I wanted a job.    I had to decline since I am not a B.S.er by nature. 

I was fired from a reporting job I had about 3 yrs ago.  I had never been in trouble for anything other than I turned my story in without changing the font on time.  Regardless, I was let go by the bosses assistant on a day that he was too busy to come to work.  I was told I could call the boss at home for an explination.  I did three times. All three times he was unable to speak to me but would call back.  Of course he never called back.  I found the timing of everything answered all my questions.  I walk with a cane and had fallen at work about three weeks into the job.  I was fired at the end of my fourth week and no one was able to tell me why. Gee..I wonder what it could have been.

Miss_Mary_Kay says ...

 I am prayerful that the day will come SOON that women are paid at the same rate as men, because we wear so many hats, but excel in each capacity.  God bless all of you, and thank you again for the forum!

Oh, what a wonderful day THAT will be!!!