General Forums >> General Discussion >> Your Body Image
Your Body Image
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Posted 2 months ago Do you have issues with your body image? If you did at one time and don't anymore... How did you overcome them? Do you think that acceptance of what your body looks like comes with age? I think I do, let me take that back...I KNOW I still have issues with what I see when I look in the mirror. I think I'm getting better but still find myself covering up while being intimate, turning away from the mirror when I'm naked and getting dressed, etc... I'm struggling with the fact that I have gained some weight and that I'm not a size 3 anymore. I'm coming to a slow realization that I'm getting older and being a size 3 at the age of 33 is probably not very feasable anymore. :( Need Breeds Ingenuity!
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| Posted 2 months ago You better shut your mouth! size 3...what's that?!?! LOL...I have discovered that as I get older, my body looks different. Rolls were there weren't any before...and that cute size 8 is gone bye bye. but I like the size 10. At first I was frantic when I wasn't 128 any more, but as long as I'm healthy, what's wrong with hovering on 150. Of course according to the BMI I've always been overweight. I was always teased for not having an breast...so although I could personally care less, some days I wished they were a little bigger just to stop the teasing. And growing up, it was my skin color. I was always darker than everyone else. And I would get the comment "oh you are cute to be so dark."...even when my mother tried to send me to modeling school for self esteem...that was the first thing I heard from the photographer. "too be so dark, you are cute."...WTF, why can't I be dark and cute. Now, I noticed that there are a LOT of people darker than me...and it just doesn't matter. You accept me for me, or push on. Ms. Antoinette M. Brown I am a divine original fashioned by God to be radiantly beautiful! Accounting professional committed to integrity, professionalism, and support to drive a business toward success. |
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| Posted 2 months ago For me neither age nor size has mattered - my body image has always been poor. (Except, perhaps, when I was pregnant, because then my body was involved in something wonderful.) Jane G. Chambers
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| Posted 2 months ago KatS, I swear that you know which buttons to push to get a response from me. Hello? Does anyone have the same figure that you did at 20? Plastic surgery aside. I am-------- 48 --fourty eight-- 48 ------- I have 3-three- grown daughters --------- 7-seven-grandkids , ----- an ex-husband, ------ a current husband ,---- and a body that roadmaps each of the above mentioned. No, but seriously, I would not change a thing,except that little weight problem, and I'm working on that. I don't want to compete with my daughters by wearing their type clothing, etc. So,to that end, all I have to do is wear something with more cloth to it. Come on Dove Brand. Keep on making the regular woman the example for role models in your ads. "What you do for yourself - any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself - will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you're doing for others, and what you do for others, you're doing for yourself." |
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| Posted 2 months ago i am an implant to calif; originally from the east coast. so, growing up on the east coast in the 60's meant even then- that the population was culturally diversified. we ate italian, greek, chinese, french, soul food and mucho PIZZA! if you were plump, you were considered to have money! if you were skinny, everyone was always trying to feed you. and, since the many cultures lived so well together, every size was accepted. being skinny or fat didn't matter, you were thought to be beautiful if you had good manners! i never felt out of place anywhere i went and with any ethnicity that i kept company with. so, today i am over thirty and by my doctor's chart labels me as overweight; but i flaunt it! i am well groomed, always smelling good and take much pride with my hair! so, to each its own...................holla ms K. |
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| Posted 2 months ago Holla back to kldyer: I hear ya. "What you do for yourself - any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself - will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you're doing for others, and what you do for others, you're doing for yourself." |
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| Posted 2 months ago In highschool I was a size 5 (skinny back then) college up until I got married size 9 (husby cooks LOTS of good food and it caught up) now I am a size 12. I have gotten more attention NOW by men then when I was a size 5 or a size 9. I think its the junk in the trunk in my lovely 'wits' that gets them all uppity, things I did not have size 5 and only showed a little size 9!
P.S. Can we get rid of those low rise jeans? I don't know about you gals but some of us has ASSES and HIPS and are not shaped like a pixy stick! "The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough."-Randy Pausch |
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| Posted 2 months ago I love my body except for that pouch below the bellybutton. I cannot get rid of it. Of course, I was sliced and diced four times, and the doctor told me there is no way to regain muscle tone in that area except have a tummy tuck. No thank you! It doesn't budge if I lose weight. I am down 5 more lbs. The only time it really bothers me is when I wear something slinky. |
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| Posted 2 months ago KatS says ...
I can relate to not being a size 3 anymore and wishing I still was. It seems my body changed when I was 29. I used to not ever exercise and eat a bunch of junk food constantly throughout the day and I couldn't gain weight to save my life, and I would TRY to put on weight all the time to conform to what guys wanted - curves. Then all of a sudden, I took a desk job at 29 and gained 20 pounds of FAT in 2 months and things were never the same. I now exercise - but this turns out to be a good thing, as before I was horribly out of shape, and skinny means nothing if you can't run down the block without being out of breath. I also have to watch what I eat - another good thing, as my father had acquired diabetes late in life from his bad eating habits, so I definitely don't want to go down the same path. Now that I work out, I feel so much better, and have so much more energy than I did before. I'm still not down to that small size that I used to be, but I feel good, and that's what's important. Previously, I tried to talk about this same subject to a couple long-time friends at work, but since they are 'bigger' than me, they aren't supportive at all and encouraged me to not work out or eat better - in fact they wanted me to eat more. They would complain about their weight and lack of energy, and I'd try to be supportive and help them, but after years of hearing the same thing over and over again, I realized that they weren't going to do anything about it but feel sorry for themselves and in the process, wanted to drag me down with them. It's sad that misery truly loves company. Anyway, for whatever it's worth, I'd suggest to try taking a fun class at the gym - yoga, kick-boxing, dance, whatever seems fun to you. You'll have fun, feel better about your body and meet people who are supportive and have the same goals of getting in shape. HTH. :)
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| Posted 2 months ago Thank you Bluefly. I had started trying to run but encountered such pain in my kness that I had to stop for while. I am happy to say that I did run a mile yesterday and my knees feel fine today. I did however have to wear support around my knees but whatever works! I am coming to terms slowly that my former size 3 is more than likely a thing of the past and besides that I don't think I want to look 13 anymore. I went from a size 3 to a size 7 in what seemed like overnight. In all actuality it was over the course of about 9 or so months. There were also so many changes in my lifestlye that I guess the weight gain was inevitable. I'm rambling now but thank you all for your support and sharing of your own stories. Dove needs to keep pumping out those fantastic commercials. One more thought: I was thinking yesterday that the old adage, "We are our own worst critic" is probably not as true as it once was. In reading some of the replies here it sounds like women are truly learning to accept themselves inside and OUT. As long as we continue to be accepting of our physical selves that old adage shall soon die completely. Need Breeds Ingenuity!
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| Posted 2 months ago Body image... what a difficult topic! Generally, I am happy with my figure- and whenever I hear one of my gorgeous friends speaking ill of her own body (cough, cough, Kathy...) I try and re-evaluate how I feel about mine. We all get sucked into that self doubt drain every so often. My beautiful, 35 year old, mother of one, size 6, best friend HATES her figure. She is angry that she no longer fits into her size 4 jeans, will not wear a skirt because she hates her legs, and thinks that she has "chicken wings" (those little pockets of skin where your arm meets the top of the breast). B-D-D, Body Dismorphic Disorder! Whenever I listen to her critique herself- one, I chastise her (as good friends can do to one another) andtry to build her up- but I also take the time to mentally check MY own body image- keep the doubts from creeping in. I do agree, we are our own worse critics, BUT the media's images of women do not help that. How much do we rely on advertising images to define what we should look like (not rhetorical! please answer!)? I am striving to become brand savvy when it comes to this- for example buying Dove products to support their "campaign for real beauty". Those are the images I want to see, the images I want my friends to see, the images I want my students to identify as beautiful, and hopefully the images that will perpetuate for my (imaginary at this point) children to see all the various shapes and forms of "ideal" beauty. See that flaws are what make us unique, add to our beauty. Korina Anja |
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| Posted 2 months ago Korina, I admire your reply and I think that advertising images have a HUGE impact on what we think we should or suppose to look like. I know that for me, if my SO and I are watching T.V and some "hot" chick (based on society's idea of beautiful) comes on the screen I will carefully glance at his eyes to see if I think he likes what he sees. I hate when it happens because it just makes how I feel about my body worse. I used to be one of those "hot" chicks and now...Not So Much. Need Breeds Ingenuity!
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| Posted 2 months ago I love me. I can't help starting out that way because I absolutely go though periods when I hate my body. My usual list of gripes are:
I'm not so worried about size as I am health. I know that if I take care of myself, I'll feel great. When I feel great, I look great. Though, I would love to tone my butt and legs more... Insanitek: Powered by Creative Minds. |
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| Posted 2 months ago I healed a lot of bad body image problems 20 years ago after reading a fabulous book (Diets Don't Work by Bob Schwartz) and shed 50 pounds because of it. Since then I've taken good care of my body and have been happy about it. But after suffering a personal tragedy 10 years ago I ignored my body's messages that something was wrong (my immune system was shutting down). Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through a whirlwind education of natural healing remedies and have emerged a staunch believer in the mind/body connection. Now I have ramped up my spirit-mind-body care as an all-inclusive endeavor. I meditate every day. After relaxing my body and calming my mind I "travel" through my body. I enter an area (say, my breast where the tumor formerly lived), flood it with a yellow healing light, release any toxins that may have parked there since the morning before, and thank my Higher Power for my health in that area. Then I fill the area with my own love and appreciation for it and for all it has done for me (this can be kinda fun depending on what body part I'm on. Ha!). I am, quite literally, loving my body each day back to a state of stability and health, of power and energy, and finally of exhilaration. Now, even though my breasts don't sit as high up as they used to, I have wrinkles and a poochy stomach, and I can't work out as hard as I used to, I LOVE my body. All of it. My laugh lines are there because I've spent 47 years laughing. How can I be sad about that? My body has served me well and I am thankful to be alive. Our body image is a state of mind that we can change at will. It starts with appreciation of the good things we KNOW we have. We can think ourselves into being beautiful from the inside out. And P.S: what other people think of us is their problem. We don't ever have to catch what they throw. "There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you." (Carol Matthau) |
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| Posted 2 months ago LauraS says ...
Nobody looks good in low rise jeans!
As for body image, after a C-section its pretty much impossible to ever have a flat tummy again. I'm size 8 now instead of the 3 that I was before, and now at age 38 I just don't really care if men appreciate the way I look anymore. My husband still likes me, and apprecciates the fact that I made his kids....that's all I care about. |
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| Posted 2 months ago I actually don't like the "women style" jeans and prefer the low rise. I don't like all the fabric on my stomach. It is just not comfortable the way I sit. I agree though, they do not look good on me. They are just more comfortable to wear. Insanitek: Powered by Creative Minds. |
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| Posted 2 months ago Unfortunately I cannot relate. Not because I haven't gained weight because I have, but because I have been overweight my entire life (by the 7th grade I was in a size 12) and I currently am a size 22. However, what I think is the saddest is not my weight, but the fact that I am probably more comfortable with my body image that most women who are in the single digits. I do believe health is more important than beauty, and if your healthy and happy, that is beautiful. I am divorced, but I am currently in a relationship, almost 2 years now, with a wonderful man who happens to be incredibly good-looking (he was homecoming king in high school and he is still hot!) and he loves the way I look! However, I do not want my daughter to go through life being the "fat girl" in class, she is only 2, but I am working to change my lifestyle and eating habits so she has good eating habits too! When I was pregnant with her my doctor was concerned with my weight and told me I was to try not to gain no more than 20 lbs. I only gained 14 lbs - I never once felt deprived, I pretty much ate healthy and also ate what I wanted in smaller proportions and gave birth to a 7-lb beautiful, healthy baby girl. I was 232 when I found out I was pregnant and after giving birth I was 230. So if I can do that, I can lose more and I plan to, slowly and as healthy as possible. It is not something you do over night, but I believe it can be done. In the meantime, I concentrate on my best qualities like great skin, great hair and hip but flattering clothes and most important, my personality and my brain!! Jodie Peruski, CMA, Owner of Charmed Essentials, LLC |
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| Posted 2 months ago KB,
Today, I weigh close to my pre starvation weight of 145-150. That is about as good as it gets, but I have come to terms with the fact that my body type is not a size 4. In fact, at 115, I had no boobs and my face looked gaunt. I firmly believe that our bodies are set at an internal, optimum weight. When we use extreme dieting and other unhealthy ways to maintain thinness, we alter our entire perspective and disrupt our body rhythms. I eat healthy but exercise is limited to water exercise and walking, but for me the trick is getting enough sleep. Since I have fibromyalgia, my sleep is erratic. I realized in the last 10 years that increased stress and too little sleep does wreak havoc on weight. I nap when I cannot sleep at night now, which is necessary to restore my stamina. Please keep us posted. Donna
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| Posted 2 months ago I actually used to be a size one. But after I quit doing the kickboxing and Tae Kwon Do, and Tae Bo, and went to work trying to flee, I gained some weight. Then, I lost back down to a size zero from the stress of the trial and the kids being taken and the injustice of it all, worrying if the kids would be alright, etc. Now, I've gained up to a size 6, and I remind myself every day that I am not fat. I look good. I was too skinny. I'm getting pretty comfortable with myself. I remember how I felt the first time I saw myself in a full length mirror and realized that I was skeletal. I'll never go there again, not if I can help it. I still have stress in my life, but I check that mirror to remind myself that I'm not fat, I'm healthy, and that I don't want to go there again. |
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| Posted 2 months ago The media controls too much of our perspective of beauty. The media says anorexic looking females are beautiful. They bombarded us with images of grown women with boyish figures that tell us this is beauty. Most of us are not models or actresses so why would we desire to look like them. Genes do play a part in body type. God made all of us different. We should love who we are, and not whom the media says we should be. |
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| Posted 2 months ago stgreg11 says ...
hear, hear! I posted a few videos to this effect last night. These women do not look good in their clothes, they are stick figures, and that's what I looked like when stress made me unable to eat. I do not want to look like that again, it is not beautiful. I brought my daughters up to realize that, and they used to tell me when they would see these models, "Mummy, she needs to go get something to eat!" So, I have a good chance of not having my daughters fall into that trap. |
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| Posted 2 months ago I'm pretty sure that because of the people I've surrounded myself with, I've managed to keep a really good outlook on my own body. Health is far more important than weight. I've used this attitude to show my mother, sister and brother that it isn't the size that matters, but how well you take it. My sister happily gained weight to a size 0, which is actually pretty funny considering she is just now hitting the teens. She is 12. My brother is a solid mass of muscle, but brags that he is going to try out for baseball this coming summer and learn how to throw a ball, not break records. My mom is nearly 300 pounds, but she feels better about herself since getting up and exercising every other day. I think the people that are around you can have a profound effect, moreso than the media. After all, they talk to you, not the model on TV. Insanitek: Powered by Creative Minds. |
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| Posted 2 months ago I've never been a lean person by any means but when I was younger I was very active and in shape. My body image is pretty healthy but it got that way after I had my daughter surprisingly. After that experience I had such respect for my body at what it could do and I've treated it better ever since. I've always been between a 12 and 16, which is a big difference in size but I'm comfortable with that because I am proportioned pretty well (big boobs, big butt, big hips) and I like and appreciate my womanly shape. It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not. - Unknown |
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| Posted 2 months ago Women have to love the way they look. |
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| Posted 2 months ago A great book about this subject is "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf. It really helped me put the whole media thing into perspective and drop whatever blame I was tormenting myself with and put it back on the media where it belongs. Now when I see those ridiculous images I just laugh. Phew! "There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you." (Carol Matthau) |
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| Posted 2 months ago pjricher says ...
Good info here: that is a good book. Body image is very much tied into media for women (and men too). That ever present 'male gaze' has become the viewpoint on how we ladies have come to view ourselves. Thats why it is so very important to love ourselves. How do I persoanlly feel about my body image? Fair, right now. It was horrid, but it is getting better. work in progress. |
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| Posted 2 months ago See at some times I like my size, like when I am walking on a side walk and a group of girls coming the other way are expecting me to move my fat ass over to let their perfect bods 'prance' by but 'lo and behold I do not and they bounce off me and land on their non-existant asses, like a coop taking on a truck guess who is going to win at all times (come on girls you know that shoulder 'bump' they do with the snif/dirty look and the hair toss what can I say hips come in handy when you need to 'check' someone)? I do not like my size when I am going shopping for clothes and finding out the pants I love are discontinued but told I can still fit into the low rise crap they replaced them with, and after trying them on (button at my crotch low rise because I have a butt and lowrise means no-ass in my vocabulary) saying it was not my size and being told "well maybe you have gotten BIGGER since last time you were here......" heh.....I was there 4 months ago and it fit me fine....go figure! "The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough."-Randy Pausch |
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| Posted 2 months ago Alright LauraS, back off the low-rise jeans!!! I absolutely love my low rise jeans. I am rather "hippy" and have lots of junk in my trunk. I must admit though that since I've gained weight I don't like how they feel around my belly. However, if I would stop trying to squeeze my ample ass into a size 5 and just buy a pair of size 7, they might not feel too bad. Hee Hee. Thanks for all your replies, they have been helpful in my mission to be completely OK with what I see in the mirror. Need Breeds Ingenuity!
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| Posted 2 months ago KatS says ...
I was about to say KatS, I would hate to fly all the way out to new mexico to kick your butt, I would rather come out for margaritta's! "The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough."-Randy Pausch |
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| Posted 2 months ago stgreg11 says ...
Thank you stgreg for the kind words. It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not. - Unknown |
Way to go, friend! I have struggled with weight issues throughout my life. In high school and college, I literally starved by eating as few as 500 calories most days to stay between 115-120 pounds, my lowest weight. During my first pregnancy, I gained only 20 lbs., but during my second, I gained 45 due to a thyroid problem. At my heaviest, I weighed close to 185-190.