Group Forums >> Women in Crisis >> Parent Care

Reply to this Topic Start a new topic
+1

Parent Care

35 Views
4 Replies Flag as inappropriate
Scan0008_normal_max50

14 posts

back to top
Quote

Posted 3 months ago

 


How do you cope when your surviving parents health is failing at a rapid pace?  My mother is 85 years old and has dementia, anemic, low blood count, dehydrated and now a cancer has developed in her blood which the doctor explained to me gets into the bone marrow causing great pain.  It has been decided by the doctors to not do the bone marrow testing because of the condition of her body also if it were done they feel she would not survive the kemo treatments.  Sometimes I just feel as though I can't make it, there are days when she is in the present and other times shes in the past or saying hurtful things to me.  I don't take that personally because I know it is a symptom of her illness, but there are times when it is a hard pill to swallow.  I am the only surviving child, my older brothers are deceased.  I don't mean to write a book but it helps just to get this out.  Thank you for bearing with me.


Clara aka "ladysilver 
Pict0936_max50

695 posts

back to top
Quote
Rate

Rate This | Posted 3 months ago

 

Hi, Clara,  It's ok to let it out, you need the support.  You're going to have to see your mother through a slow and painful end, and you are going to need all the help you can get.  Well done to you for recognizing that your mother doesn't mean the things she says.  Dementia is very difficult to deal with, both for the sufferer and the carer.  You're losing your mother by bits and pieces, and it's heartbreaking.  But it's so good that you're there to make her last days better than they would be if you weren't there to care for her.  You're a blessing to her, even if she doesn't always realize it.  Your loving care will make it better for her, and you can take some comfort in that.  In the meantime, you can always offload here.  I've worked with people with brain injuries, alzheimer's and dementia, as well as their families, and would be happy to give you added support if you like.  You can email me at seabrownthree@btinternet.com, and be sure to put womenco in the subject line so that I'll know that it isn't spam.
Picture_006_max50

294 posts

back to top
Quote
Rate

Rate This | Posted 2 months ago

 

I am so sorry about the pain you are feeling, trying to wrap you head around understanding the unusal behaviour of your ailing mother. I can assure you she does not even know that she is saying those things. The pain and shock of her illness has gotten to her head and it is very difficult at times staring death in its face.


I can only encourage you to be strong, i know it is easier said than done.  Don't hold back the tears if it makes you feel better, after all tears is a language that God understands. I will keep you in my prayers.
2392_max50

867 posts

back to top
Quote
Rate

Rate This | Posted 2 months ago

 

Clara,


Go ahead and vent. You are not alone, and we are here to support you. Sometimes when you allow your pain to ebb, you are free to view the situation in a new light.


I understand what you mean. My mom has dementia and has failed in the last few years, and it is indeed sad. Part of my sadness is that I know I cannot stop the process. The best I can do is love my mom and let her know that I care about her.


Please feel free to email me anytime.

Reply to this Topic Start a new topic