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I am the exact same way. I've taken public speaking classes (A+) , won contest for public speaking (First prize), and I speak a lot at church, and used to sing in the choir...to which people always tell me I speak very well - but i'm still so nervous I think i'm going to pass out on the floor. I don't care how many people are in a room, I'm still nervous, sweaty, I think my voice shakes, and i'm sure my body is moving as well. I can't explain it. As much as I talk, you would think I wouldn't have this problem, but I do. Maybe someone can give us pointers, because I promise one day I'll wake up with a room full of people standing over me because I've passed out.

Hi Angela.  Have you identified what is it about speaking in front of a small group of people that makes you nervous? Have you tried looking at one person in the room or in a general direction to settle the uneasiness?  What about reading from your notes and casually looking up periodically to establish a connection with your audience?  You have to find something in the room that makes you feel comfortable and at ease. 

What about speaking in front of large audience makes you confident?  Use that same energy in a small group don't establish a mental difference between the two.

I have had/sometimes still have the small problem in small groups.  I was told two things, Practice your point of view before the meeting and remember you are smart and are only reinforcing what you already know or have accomplished. 

Hope this helps.

stgreg11 says ...

Angela, I am told that you should visulaize everyone as being naked. It is an exercise to quell your nerves. Heck, I could talk to a group in a pasture of horses and not be thrown off task.

After my first nervous, public speech in college, I caught the bug. Now I like to talk in front of a group.

Sorry - no way - most those people I have no desire to see naked! That would make me more nervous!

Angela - as a professional speaker, traveled globally and spoken in front of groups of over 10,000 there is one thing in your message - these are 5 people you know. THAT can make a huge difference on the expectations you put on yourself. And you are putting them on you - not them - so being their friend and partner and talk them through something fabulous. Just like you do in front of a big group of strangers.

I was a wreck when it cames to public speaking myself.  I think that when I am in a large audience I am more relaxed.  The second to last time I stood infront  of a group (about 20) I was nerveous in the fist 5 minutes, but after that  I settled down .   My tutor told me to think of everyone in the audience as being naked . The next time I did it; needless to say my tutor was in tears, as  I delivered with clarity and  calm, the nerves was all gone.

ChrisMar says ...

Hi Angela,

I find it immensely helpful to connect with some of the people in the room before presenting to them. This helps establish a sense of being among friends (and you are, really) and takes the edge off of having to connect during your presentation.

Small groups can feel threatening because it's much more personal and upclose. Try some small talk with two of them before hand, keeping the focus on them--you'll walk away knowing a little more about them that you didn't before, and they are honored by your interest in them. You've made a more personal connection. Hope that helps!

I have tried this and I think this does help.Getting comfortable with your audience does ease out the nerves.

If I have a strong idea or opinion abt something, I can speak my mind easier. I can speak up in a small group of ppl, but it's only once I get a general sense of their personality - I just have this goofy feeling I will say something stupid or unfunny.

I have a major fear of on the spot or public speaking. I'll nvr 4get the time I blew a major interview for a position I was very well qualified for (involving esthetics). My voice gets shaky, my throught dry and tight (almost feels swollen/lump in my throat!!) and I can't keep a sentence in order sometimes. (I confess now, I've anonymously posted abt this!)

Anyway, I tried the rehearsing thing for my last interview. I nvr thought of it or heard abt doing this for an interview before. But thanks to Google I got some great tips! I also wrote down several key points, each abt a sentence long, to expound off of or use as questions to the employer. It helped SO much. The employer seemed really impressed and I got da job!!

Rehearse - there may be a lot of rehearsing to get good, but if it can help ME it'll prolly help u tons! I

We are all with you Angela and am sure that you will do just fine for your next meeting.Good luck !!

I have learned to love speaking in public, no matter how many or few people are involved.  I don't really think there is a magic bullet to deal with nerves - I think it revolves around you and your message.

For me, I will not speak or accept a speaking engagement until these criteria are in place:

1:  The topic needs to be one that I am passionate about

2:  The participants have got to WANT to be there.

3:  The participants are willing to be interactive with me.

Ladies - if you are passionate and you believe that what you have to say or share matters, the nerves will find a way to resolve themselves.  I love what I do and I know that it matters!  Even if what you have to say is only a sentence or two about how your department or section is doing, it matters!

I've never been successful in envisioning anyone naked or any of the other tips and tricks that people have used.  Even when I screw up, I just keep in mind that they are not going to run after me with pitch forks - tie me to a stake and burn me!!!  The people you are speaking to and with are just that people.  Although some may intimidate you or make you nervous, none will persecute you!  You will never hear me say to someone "don't be nervous".  I think that denies acceptance of feelings.  Take that nervousness and channel it to give your presentation, committee report or whatever, energy!  What you have to share is AWESOME!  The people you are speaking to are interested in what you have to say AND there is literally no way you can screw up.  A little bit of nerves are good, keeps you on edge, but they can also give you energy and enthusiasm, use it to your advantage!

Virginia

I actually have this exact problem, except that I also react to large groups. It has threatened to kill my career, more than once. When a boss says "Give this speech" I perish inside. I don't know why. I have always been the A student, the woman everyone comes to for help and guidance when real knowledge is needed.

Anyway, I finally asked my doctor for xanax. I take it before a public speech, and it gets me through. I will get maybe 20 pills in "granny doses" (tiny doses) and they will never get used up. After a couple years I go in and show doc the powder in the scrip jar (from being knocked around  and not used) and she gives me a new one with whole pills. My point: just knowing they are there may make you NOT need it, I carry it almost as a talisman against panic attacks. But when you DO need it, it knocks the nerves away in a very harmless and rapid way.

So sorry that you have this problem too. I wish someone knew the cause!

UPDATE:

Ok. So I had my Thursday meeting and at the start of the meeting I looked at each individual person and tried to picture them naked but I couldn't. The strategy worked a bit because I became focused on trying to figure out how they would look naked (which is actually very, very funny). I focused on details - what color would their hair be, would they be hairy or hairless...I'll spare you all the details of what else I thought of!

When it came to my turn I was a bit more relaxed - MUCH better than last week. I did shake a little and in the begining my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to pop out of my chest. Then I went into myself and kept saying "Angela, you can DO this", "Angela, stop panicking", "Angela, it's no big deal". That seemed to help a lot. Also, I made a point of doing a lot of small talk with the people in the meeting beforehand and think that helped also. 

I'm hopeful this will pass. I have these meetings every week and I would HATE to have to go through these intense feelings week after week.

Thanks again ladies, I am very appreciative for all your input!