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WomenCo. Writes: Your Embarrassing Work Stories!

“I had just finished with orientation and was getting ready for an image workshop I was supposed to be teaching after orientation. I had gone to my file cabinet to get a folder. When I bent down to close the drawer, I knocked myself in the head and cut my forehead. It wasn’t a deep cut, but my supervisor freaked out because of the blood. She told the office manager to get the first-aid kit. They cleaned the cut, put a Band-Aid on my forehead, and I went to the bathroom to fix my hair before the workshop started. The workshop got canceled because no one showed up. This might have been a blessing in disguise because I was embarrassed about teaching clients how to present a professional image, and I’d be standing up there with a big Band-Aid on my face!”

— Eolyn, 56, Maryland, Career Counselor

“I have a problem with gas, O.K.? I worked in a dental office, and no, I’m not talking about laughing gas, because it’s definitely not a laughing matter. I watched what I ate, and took precautions that a professional would take to avoid ‘situations.’ It wasn’t enough.

“Imagine sitting in the dentist chair with the dentist and his assistant (me) working over you intently. The assistant is using the suction to clear the area while the dentist works. Now the assistant feels the embarrassment of the impending ‘sonic boom.’ What does a girl do? You can’t excuse yourself in the middle of a procedure. This is where the creativity comes in. I could scoot my chair to mask the noise and use the suction as best I could to cover the evidence. Mind you, the doctor and I have on masks. It is only the patient who gets caught in the crossfire.

“If that is not bad enough, after I realize that I’ve become ‘comfortable,’ I suddenly get the idea that this is the funniest thing ever. The longer I try to hold down my pure joy at the idea of it, the more it screams to be unleashed, and I have tears in my eyes that blur my sight, because I’m trying sooo hard not to laugh. My hand starts shaking while suctioning, and the dentist glances at me. OMG, I’m thinking. I’m going to bust if I don’t laugh out loud. I start trying to thing of something else. Concentrate. I look down at the patient, and realize that he’s looking up my nose as I’m looking down his. OMG, here I go again!”

— Sherrie, Texas, Retired Dental Assistant

“While this did not happen to me, we had a girl at the office who brought a sleeping bag to work, and she would crawl under her desk during her lunch hour to take a nap!! I thought I was seeing things when I peered into her cube to see what the noise was … turns out, it was her snoring! She was in tears one day, and when I asked why, she said, ‘I’m just having a bad day. I’m missing my boyfriend and then my sleeping bag was taken away.’ It took all I had not to laugh. She sounded like a little girl who got in trouble at school.”

— Anonymous

“I never started noticing I did this until a close friend of mine asked if I did (asking me, I’m guessing, to rationalize her own doings). At least I know I’m not alone in liking to give my feet fresh air during the day. I mean, to avoid copious swelling & redness, noticeable odor, and blisters, I slip off my shoes while I’m seated at my desk. Granted, I have a decently private office, shared with only one colleague, and it’s carpeted. Plus, I work in fashion—it’s not like we wear comfortable shoes to the office: 3-4” heels, pointed toes, not particularly padded anywhere on the insole. I figure not a big deal, right? I slip them back on before I get up. And no one really notices, because who’s looking under your desk anyway? Ha! Turns out, I’m wrong.

A consequence of having extremely long legs means that when extended underneath my desk, my feet protrude out the other side. My feet and thus…my toes. So yesterday as I’m typing away, describing some exorbitantly expensive shoe, a friend of mine quietly and softly comes in and TICKLES MY FEET.

Gross, I know. But so hilarious. We were laughing nearly to tears.

Let’s just say it’s time I invest in more comfortable, wearable, fashion-industry-appropriate flats. And also learn how to conceal my bare toes.”

— Madeleine, 27, California, Copywriter

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