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Lessons from the Rejection Jar

Lessons from the Rejection Jar

In today's job market, recent grads can expect a good share of rejection. That's not a bad thing

Lindsey Gerdes | Business Week

September 22, 2008

Throughout high school and most of college I kept a “rejection jar,” which I stuffed with the scraps of every “we’re sorry to inform you” note I’d ever received and sometimes even quotes from particularly harsh or dismissive critics I’d encountered. My volleyball coach, for instance, used our one-on-one post-season wrapup simply to tell me I was the weakest athlete the strength coach had ever worked with, including the cheerleaders. I’m pretty sure that one made it in there.

The jar, however twisted and adolescent, served as motivation. And it did, on occasion, prove quite effective. To prove my trainer and coach wrong, I secretly worked out like a fiend on my own time and then helped lead my scrawny underdog basketball team to a Top 10 finish in the state tournament the next year. So while rejection is never fun, it can serve a purpose.

Today I’ve encountered many young people entering the workforce who have a similarly charged relationship with rejection, but for slightly different reasons. Rather than taking my bring-it-on approach to slights, they often seem wounded and almost passive when it comes to dealing with disappointments. I sometimes wonder if perhaps they didn’t have the benefit of getting a good dollop of rejection early on.

Cultivating Resilience

Still, they’re bright and enthusiastic, and have many attributes you’d want in a quality employee. They’re eager. They’re diligent. And, yes, they are even willing to stay those extra hours.

So, as someone who has benefited immensely from every door that was slammed in my face, I find myself wanting to help them. Because it usually takes several tries before the right door opens. Life is really is an odds game in some sense and this is why I feel it’s so important to develop traits like resilience and resourcefulness.


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  • Seal_close_up_max50

    whimsey4you

    about 1 month ago

    24 comments

    In this economy all of us are struggling. America needs to get a grip--quit sending our jobs overseas---educate our young people to be competitive--and look at the bottom line instead of what feels good right now on the political forum.

    Rejection is never easy but when you holding multiple degrees, viewed as over-qualified, and not even given any insight by hiring officials as to what would make you more marketable is beyond frustrating.

    Watching that job go to an overseas firm because they do not have to meet the same standards in the work place as we do here...and then they receive subsidies and so forth...I wonder what I have worked so hard for.

    America needs to keep our jobs here and if that means giving firms bigger write-offs or tax incentives in order to do so then we need to do that.

    At the risk of perhaps sounding a bit racist...every time I have to press one for English I get so mad I just want to hang up. When I call for tech support and cannot understand the person that is supposed to help me I want to scream. Sorry...I know that had nothing to do with this article but it just makes me so frustrated and angry.

    It isn't enough that I am competing with people half my age with half my experience that are willing to do the same job for half of what I need to be paid based on my wealth of experience...but now I am competing with people that do not even live here in America.

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Karintha

    about 1 month ago

    4 comments

    This article is SO true. I will be looking for work in another industry within the year as a recent graduate, and this article is very sobering in an aspect.

  • Never_know_whatcha

    Kate_NYC

    3 months ago

    2 comments

    I really like this one, I am in process of waiting for a reply to a Monday job interview and it eased my nerves a little. As for the Millenial issue I think its true, I am one of them so I can say it. As the generations get younger it gets worse and worse, I cant imagine what the children of today are going to be like, they have no respect for there elders and spend too much time on the internet. Well I digress...I think the statement about coddling and having everything handed to us is kinda true, but you cant speak for everyone about anything, it is a little too generalized. I thought it was a good article.

  • Avt_brandylynn1975_large_max50

    brandylynn1975

    3 months ago

    130 comments

    And as a mom of 4 young children, I see daily that this is a lesson not taught near enough.

  • Avt_brandylynn1975_large_max50

    brandylynn1975

    3 months ago

    130 comments

    Wonderful, I am a firm believer in children learning to deal with rejection from their parents. It is a great lesson, and a painful one to learn on your own.

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    tecoramonet

    3 months ago

    2 comments

    I'm in the same boat with Smiles. I'm 39 years old and strongly considering going back to school to obtain a Bachelors degree in accounting. I've been looking for a career change but, every possible entry level opening has been requiring a degree. I feel I must have a Masters degree to even begin to be competitive in the job market. I have not begun to feel rejection because I'm not receiving any call backs or interviews from my resume.

  • Nicole_hanson_small_jpg_max50

    NNH

    3 months ago

    2 comments

    This was a really insulting article. We're all facing tons of rejection, and it's hard for anyone to remain positive when sending out hundreds of resumes with no interviews in return - it's a tough job market. I don't see how one generation should be belittled, or why it's assumed that Millenials simply never learned to handle rejection because they were "handed" everything - I think that's too broad a statement, and it has zero data to back it up.

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Eleanor1957

    3 months ago

    6 comments

    Tweleve years ago I encountered a felony charge of unlawful wounding, because of this charge, employers doing background checks seem not to want to hire me. Since making this mistake in my life I decided to go back to school and obtain my bachelor degree in business, hopefully after I finish school somebody will hire me and see that I have learned from my mistake in judgement so long ago. If you have any suggestions for me I would appreciate it.

  • Danielasmall_max50

    Daniela

    3 months ago

    1482 comments

    Smiles: It's never too late for a career change... http://www.womenco.com/news/1009-career-changers

  • 000_0728_max50

    Smiles

    3 months ago

    30 comments

    I think this article is geared more towards early college grads or younger people just entering the job market. It doesn't really focus on helpful information for people in my generation who might have worked most of their lives and now find themselves in the Unemployment line for the 2nd time in a year mostly due to lay offs. I'm finding it hard to get a job, let alone finding one that pays a comfortable income. Yet, and I do try to keep my head up every time I get rejected. I'm also concidering going back to college to earn a bachelors degree in one of the health care fields. I feel like I need a career change this late in the game when I'm close to 40.

  • Baby_and_me_max50

    honeybush

    3 months ago

    54 comments

    This is a good article for young poeple today........I live in Vegas, and there are over 95,000 poeple out of work here. When most of the city is out of work, the business owners have to many choices. A lot of times when they see that I am over 40, I don't even make it past the first screaner. You would not believe how many screaners and how many questions you have to answer. I am getting a lot of practice in, once I got so close to a job I could taste it. I talk to people on the street here, I keep telling them that Vegas can be like that sometimes. Sometimed it can take a whole year and that is pounding the pavement everyday as if it is your last chance. A lot of them think there is something wrong with them. But I know when Vegas opens up, it opens in a big way. I once had 5 interviews in one day. But the new online system really slows things down. And it takes so long to get to the person doing the hiring.....by the time you get to this person you are tired.......You would have to see all the stuff they put you through here to believe it. I miss the old way, one interview per job. The test you have to pass silly and only designed for office workers with a desire to take over the company. A some of them are the same 50 qeustions rearranged 5 times and your 10 year old could have written them.I had some family stay at hotel here that did think I was good enough to work for them, they said the employees there are so rude they will not rent from them ever again......And this is a big fancy place with 2 valets!!!!
    But on my last failed interview the guy said he was going to interview 2,200 poeple to hire 15. On my way out I bumped into several very young poeple who also failed. I think a lot of the problem is that they just have to many choices right now. When there are more jobs than employees they don't do all that funny stuff........Tex

  • Fafe135_max50

    Lychordia

    3 months ago

    14 comments

    I read the mfpersezolla comments and feel that she has really something to add. It may not be in this forum, but as a main topic post! I could not imagine living as she does now. I can handle a couple of rejections as a woman, but for a year? Unheard of. And frankly it makes me ashamed for fellow Americans. I can not believe we are still so backwards in our thinking. How can we, as women, ever continue to break the glass ceiling when we keep all others suppressed? It doesn't seem right. If you are able to, undertake the cause of diversity in ALL of its shapes and forms.

    This article seems like college grad level positive reinforcement. But it is a good lesson all the same. And an obsitcle any woman should learn to overcome. If you are in this category, use it to fuel your hopes and dreams. It's amazing how a little "pick 'em up" provides so much motivation.

  • Cala2_max50

    WanderingWriter

    3 months ago

    2 comments

    I am a professional going from "freelance/consultant" back to "employee". My passion lies in something I bigger than a consulting level. I have the experience and resume and references to show for it. But employers seem a bit weary of my commitment. I think they feel, well - you worked for yourself, why work for us? Well, because what I want to do now, fits the job they have. It can be daunting, but I stay positive. I know the right this is out there for me.

  • Shermel

    Bluelily

    3 months ago

    118 comments

    The is something college ner teaches you. Your talents are praised but never told about reality. Rejection is always blow in your face other lay down at it. I fight it even if the outcome is against me. Everyone is in the same category now.

  • Witchpumpkin_max50

    PaintedPumpkinLady

    3 months ago

    2 comments

    The youngun's aren't the only ones getting doors slammed in their face. Try going back into corporate after 12 years of working for yourself. It's not a walk in the park!

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