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Facing the New Boss Whose Job I Wanted

Yesterday was a blissful day: A day of purging closets, toy boxes and all out onslaught of cleaning. I love these days, the feeling of bagging up that which has overstayed its welcome in my closets and donating it so it can be adopted by the next person. The feeling of passing my things on gave me a lift as I put stuff into bags and rummage through my closet. After I moved the clothes around I got out the cleaning supplies and the smell of clean wafted through my house.

I was vacuuming my last carpet when I remembered what the next day would bring: The new boss’s first day. The new boss who got the job I thought I was going to get. (Read my previous column.) I felt my throat go tight. I thought I had gotten over the “What will she think of me?” and “What will she be like?” thoughts. I wanted to wear the big-girl panties, strut in there with my hand extended and heartily welcome her aboard despite my losing the position to her only weeks ago.

I had visions of me being the oak tree of fortitude and integrity on her first day. Maybe she would ask me for a hand? All my co-workers would see I was the better for the whole experience. The sweat on my palms as I almost rammed the vacuum into my closet door reminded me that I wasn’t quite out of the woods of the promotion-losing scorn.

I hated myself for this.

It is amazing how I seemed to take great care in doing my hair and make-up Monday morning. Even if I did lose the position to her, I could still be the better-looking one! That would really chap her! How juvenile I can be in moments of insecurity. Immature or not, I made sure I was pressed, polished and in early.

I sat right down and started charging through work. I chirped on and on with each call to my client base. She would see just what an asset I was! This is where it should be noted that I had spent my whole drive in with day nightmares that the first thing she would do was fire me before her morning coffee so as to make an example and get rid of the one she knew would give her trouble. I would be the sacrificial lamb to the rest of the sales team – a sign that she meant business about turning this department around. Either take heed or meet the same fate!

All morning, this is what I was thinking. I barely paid attention to what was on the radio over the incessant rambling and scenarios in my head.

I heard her voice over the cube walls all morning. She sounded nice. Sweet, even. I dared not go over. Then, why did no one take her around and introduce her? The suspense was killing me. At around 10 a.m., I swallowed hard and walked over. Smoothing out my dress, I plastered on a smile and peered around the cube wall. I was greeted by the marketing manager who’s been my co-worker for ages. Not the new boss.

I was wrong about today, the new boss woman starts later this week. All that gut-turning nonsense for nothing. It taught me one thing though. If I think I am the Nirvana-infused mature one in the office, I better think again.

But I know one thing. On the new boss’ first day, I can meet her with dignity or go in swinging and lose the respect of many. I like the Jackie O. look better than the Tanya Harding look any day of the week!

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